


The Paths We Walk

by Mary_Ellen_G



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2018-12-06 01:21:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 32,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11590071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mary_Ellen_G/pseuds/Mary_Ellen_G
Summary: You are Obi-Wan Kenobi’s first padawan- that is, until you defect from the Jedi Order and disappear in the middle of the night. You return to Coruscant 10 years later, older and wiser, as a king’s adviser. As war breaks out across the galaxy, old feelings and new collide with politics and loyalties. Your morals and values will be tested, and you will discover challenges you never could have imagined.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! There is a portion of text that I borrowed from “The Jedi Path”, an extended universe book published as a sort of Padawan manual. I turned to it for a lot of my information, so if something seems familiar it might be from that.

As a Padawan, you were not insubordinate or rebellious; you never went through a disobedient phase. In fact, anyone in the temple would be hard pressed to recall a time you had _ever_ been disciplined- formally or informally- for acting out.

Sure, you’re independent. You have always been self-sufficient, and you probably always will be. You still follow the code to the letter and obey your master without question, though.

You aren’t an exceptionally strong Padawan, and you don’t excel beyond the norm in any particular areas.

You’re only well known among your peers for your calm demeanor and overall obedience. You’re incredibly dedicated to your studies and training, and you’re equally dedicated to your master.

Sometimes the attention you get for your demeanor isn’t altogether pleasant- your more hotheaded peers have taken to attempting to get you to break your composure though various means. It’s mildly annoying but they have yet to do anything that will break your calm.

You’re only confounded by one thing- your master.

You are confused by your feelings for him. You know it is not uncommon among Padawans to feel differently about your own master than the rest of the Jedi Masters; when you spend so much time with one person a bond of sorts is bound to form.

However, you’re certain that your attachment to your master is… inappropriate in nature.

He’s incredible, and you respect him more than most of the council members. He’s exceptionally trained, and young for a Knight. You know that the circumstances of his trials, and you can’t imagine the level of strength it must have taken to withstand that.

It goes beyond respect, though, and that’s where the problem lies. You’re fairly certain that you’re in love with him, and you know that it’s not acceptable.

So, you do what Jedi do best, and you meditate about it.

You can feel him in the force as you start to settle into meditation- he’s off visiting the children in the creche, and you know that he can feel your turmoil.

He’s questioning you, but you tune him out as you drift deeper into meditation.

You have spoken with other Padawans about your feelings for your master, and you were unsurprised to find that many of them had similar experiences. However, they all seemed to agree that the decision was easy- it was not difficult for them to release those feelings to the force and focus on their training.

You have to decide what you want, because it has not been easy for you.

Every time you meditate, you can only think about leaving.

It should be much easier than it is. You shouldn’t even be entertaining the idea of leaving- it frightens you.

You could stay, but you know it won’t be for the right reasons.

You master is the reason it all feels worthwhile. He is the lens through which you view your training and future. He gives meaning to the hours of restraint and katas and sparring.

He is the reason you want to become a Jedi Knight- you want him to be proud of you.

You know that it isn’t supposed to work that way.

You recite the code in your mind as you meditate, reflecting on each of the words you are supposed to be.

_There is no emotion, there is peace._

It made so much sense to you as a youngling, when you would practice remembering them for the initiate trials. You remember the feeling of peace you could achieve through meditation, and how the force felt like it was guiding you.

Now, you feel differently. How can there be peace without emotion? Peace cannot be the absence of emotion- rather, it’s the acceptance of emotion. Peace is happiness, and contentment, and love. Peace is _so_ independent of emotion.

Even when you meditate now, you know that cleansing yourself of your emotions is futile. Instead, you work to be at peace with the emotions without releasing them.

It is admittedly difficult.

You don’t know how to be at peace with an emotion that is supposed to be forbidden. You aren’t sure that it’s possible to accept these feelings as the will of the force.

The thought stings your heart. You don’t want to let the feelings fester like a raw wound- you need closure to achieve peace.

There is no clear answer to your problem. You’re at war with yourself over staying or leaving.

It’s uncomfortable that you can’t ask your master what to do. You know exactly what your master would say if you asked him for advice.

_“You must be cleansing yourself of emotion, not holding on to it. You need more practice meditating, my young Padawan…”_

_Blah blah blah._

You can feel your master through the force- he’s getting ready to leave the younglings and they don’t want him to go. They’re enamored with him, and you dryly think that you can sympathize.

You don’t want him to come fetch you for training. It’s juvenile, but you want to avoid him until you can figure out what to do.

He’s unavoidable, though. You have to train with him, so you pull yourself out of meditation and gather your things. You meet him in the hallway, and he greets you warmly.

“Good afternoon, my young Padawan.”

“Master Kenobi,” you greet with a nod, trying and failing to keep your voice light.

He gives you a questioning look.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes, Master,” you lie.

He doesn’t press you, even though you can feel his doubt.

You dive into training as usual, and your actions don’t reflect your turmoil.

You’re practicing Form IV, which is your least favorite style of lightsaber combat- it is also, unfortunately, your master’s favorite style. It involves flips and gymnastics, and it makes you nervous. Every time you try to execute a flip over someone holding a lightsaber, you can’t help but imagine yourself being impaled by it. The thought of it makes you nervous, but it’s a style you need to learn. You you’re a Knight, you’ll have the choice to specialize in a form, but you need to know them all before you reach that point.

Obi-Wan lurches toward you, and you feint to the left. You spin your saber in your hand as you bend your knees and leap, flipping over him. It’s the move that makes you most nervous, and you’ve never done it successfully before.

You can’t help but grin when you do it successfully, and you round on your master and knock him to the floor. He yields, and you help him up.

“Good job, my Y/N! Your progress is fantastic!”

You blush from the praise, and duck your head. You thank your master meekly, and leave quickly when dismissed. The room is always too hot with him in it- you can only last so long in the gym with him before you start to feel as if you’re in a burning building, trying to breathe through the smoke.

You feel like you don’t catch a full breath until you’re in your quarters. Your roommate is your best friend: a Twi’lek girl names Dia.

“Are you coming to dinner, Y/N? Talia is back from her mission on Naboo.”

You shake your head.

“I think I’m going to meditate. I’m feeling off today.”

She nods, and gives you a disapproving look.

“You should make sure you’re eating, Y/N. You never know when you’ll be called for a mission.”

You’ve heard her lectures a thousand times, and you roll your eyes fondly and say goodbye as she leaves. She means well.

Instead of meditating, you walk through the halls of the temple aimlessly, letting the force guide you.

You wind up in the archives, and you relax a little. You let the quiet knowledge of so many of your forbearers was over you. You have no need for research, but you still wander through the halls of datacards as the force guides your steps.

You’re absentmindedly drawn to a datacard, and you pull it from the shelves.

Your heart speeds up in your chest as you realize the datacard you pulled is about the Lost.

 

_The Lost is a term applied to Jedi Masters who have resigned from the Order for philosophical reasons. Although few in number, the Lost represent a failing of the Jedi to keep our greatest thinkers within our fold. Their loss is our shame._

You know the Lost- you were taught about them from an early age. You were encouraged to know their names, and the reasons they left the Order. Their faces are immortalized as busts in the archives, so that no one forgets their loss.

You panic at the idea that the force might lead you to this datacard, and you read no further before scrambling to put in on the shelf once more.

“My Padawan. Studying instead of dinner?” an inquisitive voice asks, and you jump. The datacard falls from your fingers, and your master catches it before it can hit the floor.

“Careful, my Padawan. These are valuable sources of information- not to be careless with.”

Your hair is standing on end, and he seems to realize something is wrong.

“Yes Master,” you stutter out. “I’m sorry.”

“Y/N,” he says, stepping toward you. “Is something wrong?”

You shake your head feverishly, backing up. The damage is already don’t- your panic is evident in the force. You move to dodge by your master, but he catches your wrist.

“What is wrong, Padawan? What datacard is this?”

His voice is deeply concerned, and you can’t meet his eyes.

“The Lost,” you say, finally. “I was distracted and chose one at random. I apologize, Master,” you babble.

“The Lost are important, Y/N-“

“Yes, Master. I know, Master,” you interrupt, desperate to get away. You need to figure out what all this means.

He lets you go reluctantly, and you bow as you make your escape. You know it’s unacceptable to run in the archives, but you can’t slow yourself down as you run through the halls.

You don’t realize you’re crying until you walk into your quarters and Dia stands in shock. Of course she’s back from dinner- it didn’t even occur to you that she might be back.

“Y/N? Stars, what’s wrong?” she says, reaching for you. You wrap your arms around yourself and shake your head, crying harder now that you’re out of the halls of the temple.

“I’m okay,” you say, even though it’s an obvious lie. You grapple for your usual composure, but it eludes you.

Dia wraps her arms around you.

“Y/N, this is not okay. What can I do? Should I call Master Kenobi?”

“No,” you gasp, getting a hold of yourself. “I’m sorry. I went for a walk in the archives in lieu of meditating and read a particularly emotional datacard. I was too overcome with emotions, I’m afraid.”

It’s not entirely true, but Dia buys it. She’s a good friend, and she hugs you one more time.

“Do you want the room to meditate in? I can go somewhere,” she offers, and you shake your head.

“No! You shouldn’t have to leave because I had trouble keeping my composure. I should go speak with my master, and I’ll meditate in the gardens,” you say, lying smoothly about your plan to speak with Obi-Wan.

She doesn’t call you on it, and you wipe your face of leftover tears before leaving the room once again. You’re tempted to go for a walk outside of the temple to avoid anyone you know, but Obi-Wan would most definitely sense it. Besides, the sentries at night are especially aware of Padawans who sneak out to cause trouble, and the last thing you want right now is to be hauled in front of the council.

Instead, you decide to go visit master Yoda. It’s too late at night for the council to be in session, so you make your way to his quarters. The Grandmaster’s Quarters are on the upper levels, clear across the temple, and you stick to the shadows with your head down. You don’t want to run into your master again in your state of turmoil.

You are unlucky enough to walk by him at one point, but he’s speaking with Master Windu and you’re walking too quickly for him to stop you.

When your eyes lock with his for a moment, you see his concern. It only serves to quicken your pace.

You breathe easier when you get closer to the Grandmaster’s Quarters. The air is cooler and the halls are darker, and it relaxes you. It almost feels as if the force is stronger here.

Master Yoda is waiting for you by his open door, and you duck your head in embarrassment.

“Felt your turmoil, I did. Prepared, I am.”

It was not a lie- there is a cup of tea already waiting for you, and you take a seat on the floor in front of him.

You aren’t sure how to say what you’re feeling, so you take a sip of tea as Master Yoda waits patiently.

“I think I need to leave,” you blurt, after a moment. “The Order, I mean.”

“Difficult conclusion, this is. Reason for deciding this, have you?”

You hadn’t expected to say it, to be honest. You didn’t know you had decided to leave, but when the words came out it just felt right.

You take a deep breath.

“I am having difficulty with my emotions. I talked to a few of my fellow Padawans who have felt similarly, and they all said they could reach peace through meditation. When I meditate, though, I keep returning to thoughts of leaving the Order.”

You swallow thickly, fingers tightening on your teacup.

“I also… I was letting the force guide me, just wandering through the archives. A particular datacard seemed to almost _call to me_ , but when I realized what it was- Master Yoda, it was a datacard about the Lost.”

You can hear the panic in your voice, and your face heats up in shame.

Master Yoda nods and takes a sip of his tea, thinking.

“Spoken with Master Kenobi, have you?”

You look away nervously.

“No, Master Yoda. Not yet.”

“Belong between a Master and Padawan, secrets do not. Reason for your hesitation, there must be,” he says, infuriatingly patient.

You’re embarrassed, but you know there is no use hiding your emotions from Master Yoda. He can obviously see right through you.

“My desire to leave centers around my master, Master Yoda. I have inappropriate feelings for him… I think I love him.”

He nods, and you look at him in surprise. You expect him to reprimand you, but he doesn’t. You shift uneasily in the silence as he takes another drink of tea. You wish that he would punish you and then make everything go away, but you know it isn’t possible. You endure the silence with a pounding heart.

“A path for each of us, the force has,” he finally says. “Not always revealed easily, it is. Still, trust it we must.”

You aren’t sure you understand.

“I am afraid that my path is away from the Order. I don’t want to leave,” you admit.

Master Yoda shakes his head.

“Fear is the path to the dark side, Padawan. Release this fear, you should. The force guides you- listen.”

You bite your lip and nod. You know that all signs point to the force wanting you to leave- your place isn’t here, as much as you wish it was.

Master Yoda doesn’t look unkind, and you thank the force for his patience.

“What do I do now?” you ask, uncertain.

“Tell you master, you must. Help you find your path, he will.”

He seems to sense your hesitation, and smiles good-naturedly.

“Bite you, he will not. Cares for you, he does. Painful, this might be, but necessary.

You nod, and you can feel the finality of the situation. This will be your last meeting with the Grandmaster- this will probably be your last time strolling through these familiar halls.

You say your goodbye to him the same way you always do, though. It wouldn’t do to get teary-eyed over goodbye. For some reason, you feel the need to keep your Jedi-decorum about yourself, though you know if you’re leaving it’s unnecessary. You just can’t help but feel like it’s who you are.

You’re embarrassed to admit to yourself that if feels as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. The idea that you might just not be meant to stay in the Order is still foreign to you- it’s rare for Jedi to leave the process willingly, especially once becoming a Padawan.

You can feel that Obi-Wan wants to speak to you, and you know that there is no point in prolonging the inevitable. Your heart hurts when you think about goodbye.

You make your way away from where you feel his force signature is, stubbornly, and take a seat in one of the gardens. Tears well up in your eyes despite you, and you let a few fall as you take in the fact that you will be leaving. You remember the times you’ve spend in this garden- it’s fitting that you ran here to get away from your master.

It was one of his favorite places to take you to meditate, since you often had trouble focusing if the room was too quiet. It calmed you to sit among the natural life, enjoying the sounds of life, and taking in the living force.

Whenever he thought you needed a particularly deep meditation, especially if you did something to disappoint him, he brought you here.

It wasn’t all bad, though. You often walked here with your master, debating philosophy of the Order. He was always a spirited discussion partner, and he once used the force to push you into one of the small ponds when you’d said something especially insolent. He has denied it ever since, but you know that you felt a push before you “fell” in.

You realize that your master must feel your sorrow, as you also realize he’s on his way to the gardens. It frightens you, and you slam your shields down around you and draw into the force the way he taught you. It’s meant for stealth- you can make your force signature microscopic and hard to find.

You duck from the gardens and evade your master. You know you should talk to him. Cowardice and fear are not the Jedi way- only, you will never become a Jedi, so it really shouldn’t matter if you’re behaving like one.

You make an irreversibly bad decision and run toward the Padawan’s quarters, down to the lowest floor of the temple, and out the back door of the temple to the darkness of the Coruscant upper levels.


	2. Chapter Two

Your feet ache as you step off the transport with Emmet, Alexander, and a few other diplomats from Corulag. You open your mouth to complain, but Emmett stops you.

“Don’t complain about your feet. If you hadn’t spent half the journey pacing, your feet would be fine. I also don’t want to hear about how tired you are.”

You narrow your eyes at the king.

“I don’t like being on Coruscant,” you complain, and he rolls his eyes.

“That’s your own fault, Y/N.”

You frown at him, because he’s absolutely correct- you wouldn’t hate being here if you’d parted the planet on good terms, but you hadn’t. When you left nearly ten years ago, you were a child with only the clothes on your back, a few credits, and a lightsaber. Now, you’re working with the king of a major Inner Rim planet as one of his most trusted advisors. You’ve come a long way, but the past still haunts you.

You have rarely had to return to the planet, and every time you do you can’t help but feel like a frightened Padawan again.

Two Jedi, a Padawan and Master you don’t recognize, greet you as you begin to walk toward the Senate building.

“Your Highness,” the master greets Emmett. “We are here to escort you and your party.”

Emmett nods and thanks them, and you follow the pair across the landing platform and into the mushroom-shaped building. The pair lead you to a sitting room reserved for Senators waiting for sessions to start, and you’re eager to sit down and rest your feet.

You don’t immediately get the chance, though, as Senator Amidala enters the room moments after you. There is a group of people filing in behind her, but you don’t get a chance to see them as Padme throws her arms around you and nearly knocks you ever. You laugh with her, hugging her back.

“Padme!”

“Y/N! It’s so good to see you! I wasn’t expecting to see you on Coruscant.”

You laugh, taking an offered drink from a staff member.

“I wasn’t planning on coming, but his Highness apparently can’t function without me,” you tease, as Emmett quirks an eyebrow at you.

“I believe it’s you who can’t function without me.”

He reaches out and rubs his thumb across your cheek, and when he pulls it away, there’s a smudge of makeup there. You must have rubbed some out of place.

Your face heats up as he grins at you a leans down to press a kiss against your forehead.

“There, now please be more careful. I don’t want you to look like a jester in the Senate chamber.”

You roll your eyes at his teasing, but your blush creeps across your neck and ears. You don’t like attention, and you don’t want to give anyone a reason to stare at you. You avoid looking around the room, to avoid meeting questioning glances.

You focus on Padme instead, and you both finally take a seat on one of the couches.

“How are things on Naboo?” you ask, making polite conversation. You’d love to gossip with her about personal matters, because you’re sure she’s got news for you, but the Senate is not the place.

You discuss the whispers of separatist activity, and how you both want things to end peacefully.

“The last thing this galaxy needs is another war,” you say, grimacing.

“I wholeheartedly agree. If the vote goes well today, things will start to move in the right direction,” she says confidently. You laugh a little.

“Your confidence is astounding, Senator,” you tease, and the conversation starts to lighten up.

Your gaze starts to drift around the room, and your heart nearly stops when your eyes fall on a familiar face.

He’s got a beard and longer hair now, and his face has aged pleasantly. The last ten years have obviously been good to him- he holds himself taller, and you’re pleased with how content he looks as he talks to the young man next to him. You realize with a start that the young man has a Padawan braid draped over his shoulder- he must be your master’s new Padawan.

You squash the part of you that is disappointed by how well he did without you. He looks well, and that was all you could hope for.

His eyes are the same, though, and your heart pounds in your ears when his green eyes lock on yours

 _“My Y/N,_ ” you see him murmur, and you look away hastily.

“Y/N?” Padme asks, and you shake your head as if to clear your thoughts.

“Sorry, Senator. I’m just distracted,” you apologize.

“Distracted by the Jedi?” she asks, and you laugh.

“I won’t answer that,” you tease, before returning to your conversation with her.

You’re still distracted, though. Your eyes keep drifting back to Obi-Wan. He’s watching you, and not even trying to be subtle about it. His gaze is heavy and intense, and you make sure to shield your emotions from the force.

His attention unnerves you, and you can feel the heat of a blush rise across your neck and cheeks.

You’re thankful when the announcement is made for the session to begin coming to order, and you take your place at Emmett’s side again. He holds out his arm, and you rest your hand in the crook of his elbow, trying not to shake. Alexander appears beside you, and you’d almost forgotten he was there. He’s grinning mischievously at you, and he leans down to whisper in your ear.

“That one is your former master, right? You two would look good together.”

“Alex!” you protest, blushing again.

 “Is there a problem, Y/N?” Emmett asks, his grin as mischievous as Alex’s. They must have noticed your staring.

“I hate Coruscant,” you say, as an explanation.

They just laugh as you’re escorted into the Convocation Chamber.

You take a deep breath as you enter the room. You’ll never get used to it- it never fails to send a sense of pride through you. It always renews your faith in diplomacy.

You wonder idly if that’s why Padme is able to hold onto her strong convictions- she spends so much time in the Senate building it must have an effect on her.

Emmett chuckles beside you, and you glare at him.

“I’m not coming next time,” you threaten, and he shakes his head.

“Of course, love.”

His voice is full of sarcasm, and you’re only prevented from arguing by the session finally coming to order.

It’s an incredibly long session, and your feet feel numb by the time the voting is finished. You’re relieved at the way voting turned out, though- it worked in the favor of the Republic, though you aren’t naïve enough to think that the whispers of war aren’t still floating around.

Emmett and Alexander are buzzing with happiness, but you can barely stand up straight. It’s dark outside the windows of the Senate building, and your exhaustion from the trip is catching up to you.

Padme catches you as you’re leaving the rotunda, and throws her arms around you. Your eyes meet with Obi-Wan’s over her shoulder, and you squeeze your eyes shut.

“Still think my faith in diplomacy is astounding?” she teases.

“No, I think it is deserved. I think your _energy level_ is astounding. I’m going to fall asleep on my feet after that!”

Emmett chuckles behind you.

“If you fall asleep I’m leaving you on the floor.”

 “Hey!”

“Have you eaten?” Padme asks politely, ignoring your back and forth with Emmett. “I know you’re tired, but I’ve got reservations with the Senator and Ambassador from Lothal- they’re always a treat, and the food will be good. I promise you can sleep after.”

You look to Emmett. You would love to say no and go fall into bed, but it isn’t your decision. He looks at you for a moment, and you hope your face is impassive. You don’t want him to decline the invitation on your behalf and be mad about it later.

“We’d love to.”

You walk with Padme and her staff, as well as your respective Jedi handlers, to a surface transport. You’re happy to rest your feet on the journey to the restaurant. It unnerves you that Obi-Wan is still around, but you’ve come to understand that he and his Padawan must be serving as Padme’s handlers. You distract yourself from his eyes by talking about the session with Alexander and Emmett.

It’s a short ride to the restaurant, and it’s gorgeous. You’re in a private room, with a lavish banquet table ready to go. You forget sometimes that being a dignitary has perks, though you wish right now that one of them was a comfortable bed.

Still, the food is wonderful and the wine is sweet. You’re blessedly sat between Emmett and Padme, so you don’t have to make conversation with any of the Jedi in the room. Obi-Wan and his Padawan are across from you though, and his steady gaze is making you nervous.

You notice through your nerves that Padme is making eyes at the Padawan, and you raise an eyebrow at her when you catch her eye. She just smiles and blushes, and returns to her conversation.

You don’t realize that you’re fidgeting until Emmett reaches a calm hand over and rests it on your knee with a meaningful look.

“Sorry, your Highness,” you say, sheepishly.

“It’s been a long day,” he says, leaving his hand on your knee as he returns to his conversation with Jar Jar and Alexander.

“You look like you’re going to fall asleep on your plate,” Padme says gently, turning to you, and you laugh.

“I apologize, Senator. I’m still adjusting to traveling so much- it’s been a while since I had business off Corulag. Typically, his Highness does all the travelling.”

She laughs.

“Despite your exhaustion, I’m glad you’re here. It’s refreshing to see a familiar face in such grueling Senate negotiations.”

You nod.

“It is good to have friends in such places. Besides, I’ve missed seeing you! It’s been far too long since I’ve visited Naboo.”

The conversation is pleasant but exhausting, and you’re pushing back irritation when you finally get back on the transport to your rooms.

You bite back a yawn, and Emmett pinches you good-naturedly.

“Hey!” you hiss, glaring at him.

“What? You’ve only got a few more minutes to stay awake, Y/N. I figured I’d help you out.”

His grin is entirely too mischievous for your taste, so you cross your arms over your chest and resolve to ignore him. He doesn’t accept that, though, and tugs you so you’re leaning against his side. You roll your eyes, but it is much more comfortable to lean against him so you don’t complain.

You look across the transport to see Obi-Wan having a spirited discussion with his Padawan. His Padawan looks up and makes brief eye contact with you, before you turn and look out the window. You’re glad that they seem to have a good partnership- Obi-Wan deserves to have a Padawan who will actually be successful.

Coruscant looks beautiful out the window of the transport, and you remember all the evenings you would look out at it from your dorm window in the Temple.

You shake your head against the wave of fond memories- now is not the time.

You’re relieved when you finally get off the transport and are brought to the rooms you’ll be staying in while on the planet. You and Emmett are sharing an apartment of sorts- it’s got one kitchen and living area, but different bedrooms. Alexander is in a different apartment area with a few other advisors.

They rooms are beautiful, but you can’t bring yourself to dally and enjoy the view. You nearly collapse on your bed in your clothes, but Emmet won’t let you. He stays with you while you change into pajamas, and ensures that you get into bed.

“Sleep well, Y/N. We’ve got another long day tomorrow.”

You’re too exhausted to even respond, and you fall asleep before he’s out of the room.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thanks for reading!

When you wake up in the morning, groggily remembering that you’re on Coruscant, Emmett is already gone. He’s at breakfast, and his note says that you won’t be needed for a few more hours.

               _Y/N-_

_I’m at breakfast with Xysa Satchaa and Ji Gilisok. You’re off the hook for the morning, so relax and enjoy it! I look forward to seeing your well-rested face at your first committee meeting at 100._

_-Emmett_

You roll your eyes at the note, but you’re thankful to have the morning off to adjust. You weren’t lying when you told Padme you weren’t used to travel- you did it all the time as a Padawan, but once you started working with Emmett you got used to mostly surface travel. Hyperspace is much more exhausting than you remembered it being at 16.

You’re half-awake and making caf in your pajamas when there is a knock on the door. It doesn’t feel like a threat, and you wonder if Padme has come to visit you.

When you open the door though, your heart pounds in your chest and you’re stunned into silence for a moment.

“Master Kenobi.”

He bows awkwardly.

“Ambassador. I was requested to be here by King Krane,” he says, and you’re confused for a moment before your brain catches up and you sigh.

“You’re welcome to come in, Master Kenobi, but he isn’t here. I do believe we’ve been set up,” you say, turning away and leaving the door open behind you.

“Pardon?”

“He’s at breakfast with a few old friends,” you say, handing him the note. “Would you like a cup of coffee?”

“Allow me,” he says politely, pouring two cups. He puts just the right amount of sugar and cream in your coffee, and you smile fondly at him for a moment as you both sit on the couch.

“How are you, Master Kenobi?” you ask gently, your nervousness building.

“I am well,” he says, taking a sip of his drink. It’s awkward, and you can’t look at him. There is a long, heavy silence where you both refuse to meet each other’s eyes. Obi-Wan is the first one to break.

“Y/N,” he starts, and you look up at him. He seems troubled. “Why did you leave? Why didn’t you talk to me?”

You bite your lip. You knew this was coming, but you still don’t know how to handle it.

“I’m sorry. I really am. I was a foolish child and I let my fear get the best of me.”

“I know you, Y/N. You were anything but foolish- on the contrary, you were one of the brightest Padawans in the Order. What were you afraid of? What could have been so horrible that you left in the middle of the night?”

“I was shown that the path the force held for me wasn’t within the Order. I spoke to other Padawans and Master Yoda, and arrived at the conclusion that I should leave the Order- I wasn’t meant to become a Jedi.”

“You never came to me, Y/N. Why?”

You don’t meet his eyes, and you take a long drink of the coffee. It’s made perfectly- in all the years you’ve been apart he still remembers exactly how you like to drink your coffee. The thought tugs at your heartstrings.

“I broke the code,” you say, simply, looking up to meet his eyes. You can see the gears turning in his head as he thinks through how you could have broken the code. Master Yoda must not have told him the details of the meeting you had the night you left.

“Oh,” he says softly when he gets it, and you laugh humorlessly.

“I was too ashamed to face you, so I left after speaking to Master Yoda.”

He doesn’t seem satisfied by your answer.

“Who?”

“Pardon?”

“Who did you break the code with? You weren’t exceptionally attached to anyone, and-,”

Your laughter interrupts him. It’s not really funny, but you can’t help but laugh. It figures that your obtuse former master wouldn’t pick up on the fact that it was him.

“Master Kenobi, you idiot,” you gasp, wiping tears of laughter away from the corners of your eyes. You’re glad you don’t have makeup on. “It was you. I was in love with you.”

He stares openmouthed, and you laugh again. It still isn’t funny, but you’re nervous and you can’t help but think how robotic he looks- it appears as though you’ve broken him.

“What?”

“I’m sorry I never told you,” you say honestly as you watch him continue to struggle with the revelation you just dropped on him. “But I knew that it wouldn’t have changed anything if I did. I would have left no matter what, but it would have been more painful. So, I took the cowardly way out.”

“Y/N,” he says, sounding absolutely heartbroken.

“I’m sorry,” you say again, and he meets your eyes. You’re struck once again by how familiar his eyes are- you spent so much time with him, looking up to him, revering him…. A part of you had hoped that when you finally spoke to him again he would be entirely different.

You hoped he would be so different that you wouldn’t be in love with him anymore.

He’s the same, though. His eyes still shine the same way, and your heart still quickens in your chest every time they look at you.

You’re too far in love with him; just looking in his eyes is making your heart pound like you are a Padawan again, and you look away from him in shame. At least when you were 16 you could use the excuse that you were young and foolish. Now you’re a grown woman- and an Ambassador, at that.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I failed you.”

“You did nothing wrong, Master Kenobi.”

“I made you feel as though you couldn’t come to me,” he argues quietly, and you shake your head.

“I trusted you with my life. There was nothing you could have done to get me to admit my feelings to you back then.”

He still seems dismayed, and you can’t help but duck your face in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry,” you say again.

“I’m sorry,” he responds, and you let out a deep breath.

“I’m sorry Emmett called you here,” you say, looking down at the cup of coffee you’d nearly forgotten was in your hands. “He’s one of the few people that knows about my history with the Order, and he likes to meddle in my life. I hoped that he could keep his meddling to himself during this trip, but it appears that my hope was futile. I hope you aren’t upset about the wasted time.”

Obi-Wan looks up so quickly it startles you.

“What? What wasted time?”

You raise your eyebrows at him.

“You were called here on business- there was no business, and Emmett wasn’t even here. Only me and coffee.”

He laughs.

“Talking to you isn’t a wastes of my time, Y/N. In fact, I consider it an honor.”

You roll your eyes at him fondly.

“There is no need for flattery, Obi-Wan.”

He laughs again, and you enjoy the sound. It’s like music to your ears, and it’s been too many years since you got to hear it daily.

“It’s not flattery. I missed you,” he admits.

You smile gently at him.

“I’m sorry. I missed you too. It was my cowardice that caused all of this,” you offer.

His eyes are soft and fond as he looks at you. It’s a look you haven’t received in too many years, and it makes your heart hurt. You missed him so much.

He doesn’t say anything, but he rests his hand on your cheek and your heart pounds in your chest. You can feel his calm, and it soothes your soul. You thought you had been at peace with your uncomfortable disappearance, but you were obviously kidding yourself. As you look at him now, you feel real peace for the first time in too many years. Master Yoda was right all those years ago; you should have talked to him before you left.

You’re both startled apart as the door flings open, and Emmett comes strolling in.

“Ahh, Master Kenobi! Good to see you.”

You narrow your eyes at his tone.

“We were just discussing how His Highness must have gotten his calendar mixed up, since I was here alone in my pajamas this morning.”

Emmett doesn’t even react to your passive aggression as he walks over and shakes Obi-Wan’s hand.

“I apologize for the schedule mix up this morning- I was called away for a meeting.”

“Breakfast doesn’t count as a meeting,” you argue, but Emmett ignores you as he pours himself a coffee. You glare at him, but he is nonplussed.

“Are you going to the meeting at 1100 dressed like that?” he asks, and you look around for a clock.

“What time is it?”

“1030.”

You swear and stand up, bowing to Obi-Wan out of an old habit.

“Please excuse me, Master Kenobi. It appears I was ill prepared for this morning.”

Obi-Wan is laughing at you, but he still stands and bows to you before excusing himself from the room. You dodge into your bedroom, climbing quickly into your Senate outfit for today. You’re sweating already, and you swear again. It’s an uncomfortable and extravagant traditional dress, but you wouldn’t think of dressing more casually for Senate committee meetings.

You rush to put makeup on, and twist your hair up into a headpiece. It’s not as big as some of the one’s you’ve seen- Padme and Duchess Satine of Mandalore have it way worse.

The shoes are the part you are dreading, and you are tempted to go barefoot under the long gown.

“Don’t you dare,” Emmett says from the doorway as you’re sitting on the floor, staring at the offending pieces of fashion. He knows you too well.

“No one would know,” you argue, but he settles the argument with a look and you strap the contraptions to your still-sore feet.

“It’s going to be a long day, isn’t it?”


	4. Chapter Four

Your original plan was to stay on Coruscant for a few days before returning to your duties on Corulag. This vote had been important enough for Emmett to be here in person, but you both had faith that the subsequent voting could be done in absentia.

Then, an attempt is made on Padme’s life.

Suddenly, your title is changing to Senator and you’re moving into a permanent residence on the planet in the Senate district. Emmett has returned to Corulag, appointing you to vote on his behalf. You’ve already gotten used to being the voice of your king.

You’re a devout member of the Loyalist committee, and you’re offered protection by the Chancellor as the target you’re painting on your back keeps getting bigger. You decline, but when Obi-Wan and Anakin are assigned to Padme you find yourself around protection more often than not.

You’re on edge often, though you keep up a brave front. There are always whispers of more assassination attempts by Separatists, and your outspoken actions and loyalties could be call for an attempt on your life.

Still, you are too proud to accept official protection. You were trained in the Jedi arts and can take care of yourself, and you have a moral objection to accepting Jedi help when they’re already spread so thin. Besides, it looks good to the public that your faith in diplomacy is so strong that you refuse to even accept guards.

Padme is wise, though, and can tell you are uneasy. You spend a lot of time together with the Jedi around. It does a good deal for your anxiety, but you can’t shake the feeling that you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Your friendship with Emmett suffers. You rarely have anything to joke about, and much of the time you spend talking to him is spent discussing the possibility of war and what the people of your planet want. It’s exhausting, and you long for peace.

Still, longing does very little. You spend long days in the Senate building, participating in committee meetings and planning sessions.

You leave your final session one day with sore feet and a lack of enthusiasm. More and more systems are beginning to talk about the Confederacy of Independent Systems, and it’s looking more like war every day.

A clone army has been revealed to the Senate, and its entire existence makes you nervous.

“You look exhausted, Senator,” Obi-Wan observes, walking next to you as you glide through the halls toward the transport waiting to take you home.

“I apologize, Master Kenobi,” you tease. You’re trying very hard to stay positive and keep your sense of humor. “I’ll work on looking a little less haggard tomorrow.”

He shakes his head at you but chuckles.

“Of course, Senator.”

“Will you be joining me for dinner?” Padme asks, turning around from where she’s walking ahead of you with Anakin. You can hear the hopefulness in her voice, but you have to decline. Your exhaustion is getting the better of you, and you’re going to start hallucinating if you don’t get decent sleep soon.

Padme is gracious and understanding as always, and you hug her and nod to the Jedi before you go your separate ways. The force feels heavy around you, and you can’t help but feel weak under the weight of it. It’s exhausting, being a part of the anti-war effort, and you can’t help but wish things could all go back to normal.

“I see you’re too busy thinking about your duties to notice your King,” a voice says from the shadows, and you turn to see Emmett walk from behind a pillar.

“Emmett!”

You throw your arms around his neck, and he hugs you back tightly.

“You really should be more observant,” he says as he lets you go and offers you his arm. You take it, and he starts to guide you toward the transport. “You continue to make waves in the Senate, and I’m worried that you’re going to make yourself a target for violence.”

You shake your head.

“I don’t find myself in need of protection- I can take care of myself, remember? Besides, Sir, I thought I was only acting on behalf of you and our people. I’d be glad to stop ‘making waves’ if that’s what our people demanded.”

Emmett rolls his eyes.

“Your time in the Senate has made you too ill-tempered, my love.”

You shake your head, but you don’t argue. You know that he’s at least a little correct- the Senate is wearing on you. It feels good to be around your King again; you’ve been lonely.

“I don’t suppose that means I can take a break?”

“Of course.”

You beam at him, taking your place on the transport.

“I’m afraid it’s not only for the sake of your temperament, Y/N,” he says. “I’m sending you back to Corulag. There is war brewing, and I want you with our people when it strikes. I’ve assigned Alexander to help you- you will prepare for war on the planet.”

You turn your head so hard it hurts your neck.

“Excuse me? With all due respect, Sir, if war is indeed brewing, my place is here trying to stop it with diplomacy!”

He slams his hand down on the armrest of the seat, and gives you a hard look. It startles you- he’s not often irritated with you, and you’re stunned into silence.

“Y/N, you will listen when I give you orders. Despite your tenure here, there are things about the Republic and Senate that even you and your Jedi are not privy to.”

Your eyes widen.

“What? I’m sorry, but if there are things happening-,”

“Stop, Y/N. You will do as you are told. You pack tonight and leave tomorrow morning.”

You sit in silence on the transport as it makes its way to your apartment, distraught and thoroughly subdued from your argument with Emmett. You feel as if you’ve been lashed. He thankfully doesn’t speak more, and he isn’t staying with you so you’re alone when the door to your apartment closes.

You call Padme.

“Y/N? Is everything okay?”

“Well,” you start. “I’m calling to say goodbye- Emmett is sending me to Corulag and taking my place in the Senate.”

You struggle to keep the frustration and panic from your voice. A storm is brewing, and you only hope that you’ll be under cover when it strikes.

“That’s so sudden. Did he explain why?”

“He thinks that war will be here soon, and he wants me on the planet and prepared when it strikes. Padme…” you start, cautiously. “Are the Jedi there?”

“Yes, why?”

“Emmett said something that bothered me, and I need to know if they have any idea what he’s talking about. I’ve got a bad feeling about it.”

She calls them over, and you proceed.

“He was aggravated that I told him I wanted to stay here and rely on diplomacy- he said that ‘there are things in the Republic and Senate that even the Jedi and I are not privy to’ but refused to explain what that meant. It’s stuck with me; I don’t know what that would mean.”

You can practically hear the gears turning in Obi-Wan’s head.

“I don’t know either, Y/N. Maybe he’s working on deals outside of the Senate? It’s not unheard of for rulers to meet up off of Coruscant,” Obi-Wan reassures you, but you can tell he doesn’t believe it.

“I know. It’s probably nothing. I just can’t help but think that something is going to happen soon.”

“We’ll keep our eyes peeled, Senator,” Anakin says, and you smile. You were hesitant to like him when you met him, from some juvenile jealousy about him being the new Padawan, but he grows on you every time you speak with him.

“Thank you, Anakin. I know it is probably nothing, but since I won’t be here to watch out I thought it might be prudent to let you all know.”

“Thank you, Y/N,” Obi-Wan says, and you say your goodbyes. You aren’t sure when you’ll see them all again, but you hope it isn’t during war.

Unfortunately, mere days after you arrive on the planet, war is declared. The vote stuns you, and you can’t help but be afraid.

You immediately try to return to Coruscant, but Emmett won’t allow it. You haven’t seen or heard from Padme since you left, and it’s driving you crazy. You never thought you would miss your grueling days in Senate committee meetings.

Emmett offers Corulag as the Inner Rim base of the Republic, and you’re soon swept up into establishing a framework of military operations with the clones who arrive on the planet.

Buildings go up quickly, and you work closely with Alexander to ensure that they’re all running smoothly.

You take command of the capital base- it’s the largest, first, and most important, and it’s where the command center for the planet operations is.

You adjust surprisingly well to military command, and you make friends with the Clone commanders. While you were initially against their entire existence, you’re learning to value them as individuals and assets to the republic.

You haven’t yet had any battles on the planet surface- instead, you mostly organize troops to be sent elsewhere. You’ve had a few naval battles around the moons of your planet, but you’ve been able to command them from the relative safety of the planet surface.

You’ve been successful so far, but the stress feels like it’s taking years off of your life.

You’re overseeing preparations for another Republic offense when Emmett pops up on your communications, and you take a seat.

“Your Highness,” you greet.

_“Y/N. How are things going?”_

You take a deep breath.

“Well, the base is running smoothly. Our guys in the sky are holding off all aggressions, so our surface operations are running at full capacity. I’ve been given orders to prepare for another offensive- we’re just waiting for details and Republic approval.”

_“Don’t sound so bitter, my young General. This is war- you must not let your feelings interfere with your judgement. Perhaps the Jedi the Senate has sent can assist you in your self-control while you’re preparing them to run the offensive.”_

You’re outraged, and you glare at the hologram of him.

“As if it isn’t enough of a nuisance dealing with people created for war- now I have to deal with those who chose it.”

_“You forget yourself, Y/N. I will not stand for insubordination. Do as you are told.”_

You bite back a sigh.

“What exactly am I preparing the Jedi and their unit for, exactly?”

_“I can assure you that they will tell you what they need.”_

“Sir, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to do my job with such limited information! How can I ensure that our people are protected from Separatist retaliation? When you are off planet, it’s my responsibility-,”

_“That’s enough, General. Do as you are told.”_

He cuts off coms, and you throw the little piece of metal across the room. It shatters against the wall, and you take a deep breath to prevent yourself from breaking anything else.

“Rough day?”

You turn around to see Obi-Wan, where he’s standing with a clone commander and Alexander. You can’t even hide your relief at seeing your former master.

“I suppose you could call it that.”

Alexander smiles warmly at you.

“I’ll replace your coms, Y/N,” he assures you, and you grin. You love him like a brother- you trust him with your life, and you’re fortunate to have his assistance in the war. He’s been the only light in your assignment to this base. Alexander ducks from the room with a nod.

“Commander Cody, Ma’am,” the clone commander says, introducing himself. You shake his hand.

“Just Y/N is fine, Commander. Ma’am makes me feel geriatric, and stars know this war is making me feel old enough.”

You hug Obi-Wan as a greeting. You do it without thinking, and you regret it for a moment. When he hugs you back, though, you’re reminded that this is wartime, and you don’t have time for regrets. You’re glad to see him, and know that he’s safe.

“Welcome to my planet, Master Kenobi,” you say, as you finally let him go. “I must admit that Emmett and the Senate were unclear on exactly what you’re here for.”

You stride from the command center with him and his clone commander, leading them on a short tour of the base.

“We’ve got almost everything headquartered here,” you explain.

Obi-Wan gives you a sideways glance when you’re finished with the tour.

“I don’t suppose your king informed you that I requested your participation in this offensive?”

You sigh deeply, feeling a headache coming on. Of course he didn’t think it was necessary to tell you that. Of course.

“No, I’m afraid he forgot to mention that little detail. He didn’t even tell me what exactly the offensive is.”

Obi-Wan and Cody share a glance.

“Well, I suppose we’ve got a great deal to talk about, then.”

You bring them to your office where you all can speak privately. You make coffee- you can only assume this will take a while.

You’re trying not to be mad at Emmett- being snarky and teasing is one thing, but leaving you high and dry in preparation for war is just dangerous. He’s being petty, and you’re embarrassed that Obi-Wan and Cody were privy to how childish he could be. You’re embarrassed that you seemed unprepared because of your king.

“We have intel that Separatist spies have infiltrated your planet. The Republic is interested in preventing them from engaging in warfare on the planet surface- this base is important to the safety of the Inner Rim,” Obi-Wan informs you, pulling out a holomap of the planet. He shows you where the supposed spies are.

This is exactly what you’ve been trying to prevent. Surface warfare too often means civilian dead, and you want to escape this godawful war with your citizens no worse off.

“We need to make our way there discreetly- we need to collect information, as well as eliminate any possible threats to this base.”

You nod.

“How many men are we bringing?”

“Ghost Company, ma’a- Y/N,” Commander Cody corrects himself and you chuckle. “They’re part of our Battalion. Battle tested, good men.”

“I don’t doubt it. When should I be ready to roll?”

Obi-Wan grins at your eagerness.

“We’ll set out at nightfall.”

“I look forward to it, Master Kenobi.”

There’s a tension in the air, but you hold his gaze. His eyes are shining- it’s been too long since the two of you were in combat together.

You can’t help but look forward to it, especially if he’s going to keep looking at you like that.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

Creeping toward the Separatist base through the dark forest with Obi-Wan feels so right it makes your heart sting. It’s easy for you both to fall into the way things used to be, even though you’re both ten years older.

You don’t really have to communicate aloud to know what you’re doing- you take point together and move as one. You can feel his presence loud and clear in the force, and you use him as a guide through the darkness. You feel vulnerable with a blaster instead of your lightsaber, but you refuse to carry it; it is a weapon for a Jedi, and you are not one.

Obi-Wan noticed when you didn’t take it, but he didn’t comment and you’re thankful for that.

It still feels so much like old times to be working with him, despite the difference in weaponry. The force is strong between you both, and you feel more confident than you have been for most of the war so far.

When you break through the darkness and see the Separatist base nestled in a clearing, you’re unpleasantly surprised by their sheer numbers. There are far too many of them for you to take with the number of troops you brought, and it would be suicide to march in.

“It couldn’t hurt to get any information we can- the more we have, the easier it will be to return with greater numbers,” you say quietly to Cody and Obi-Wan.

The both agree, and you split up with instructions that everyone holds their fire. The top priority is stealth.

You center yourself in the force, making your presence small and quiet. The force makes your steps light, and you focus on being a shadow. You always loved stealth- all the better to prank Dia with- and even though it’s been ten years you have still held onto those skills.

You take two men and head in one direction, while Obi-Wan and Cody split the remaining men and take them off in different directions.

You draw close to the base, scanning the area for droids. You’re surprised to find that there aren’t many- it’s mostly humanoids, and the thought makes you uneasy. Where are the people coming from? Surely they aren’t from your planet… You’ve been at peace for far too long, and your citizens are overwhelmingly loyal to the Republic.

You creep closer to the door, and hear two men talking. You have a clone trooper on either side, and you gesture for them to hang back as you dodge forward and behind a small ledge.

“I’m sick of this whole lying-in-wait thing,” one of them says, sounding bored. “I realize the Chancellor is biding his time, but this is a little unnecessary. Besides, this planet can’t be that important.”

Your heart pounds in your chest. The Chancellor? What has he got to do with all of this?

“We’ll have our time to fight, man. Things are delicate- besides, I don’t mind being here. It’s not some outer rim shithole, and you should have seen the General bitch the other night when we were running reconnaissance. She was just getting out of the shower!”

“Isn’t she some Senate throw-away? I wonder if she knows what the Chancellor is up to.”

Your feel bile rise in your throat, and you retreat safely away with the two clone troopers. You can feel Obi-Wan reaching for you in the force, and you guide your troopers toward him.

 _There is peace,_  you remind yourself as your panic increases, and you compose yourself.

You catch up to Obi-Wan and Cody just on the outskirts of your own base.

“Obi-Wan, you need to contact the council immediately. The Chancellor is involved somehow- they’re waiting for some command from him. I fear this situation is much worse than a few Separatist spies.”

You look between him and Cody.

“We can’t rush to act, especially without proof. I suggest we continue with our plan to wipe out the base like before, but we’ll collect information as well. If you’re correct about this, this could affect the entire galaxy.”

You see the worry lines on Obi-Wan’s face as he speaks, and it unfortunately does nothing to quell your fear.

“One more thing,” you say, addressing the entire group. “No one is to discuss this- at all- within the base. As far as everyone in those buildings is concerned, the mission went according to plan. I may be paranoid, but you never know who is listening and we can’t afford for word to get out. I also have the safety of my King to take into consideration; if the Senate is compromised, he is vulnerable.”

The men all agree, and you walk into the base. The men are all dismissed to rest, and you’re walking down the hall with Cody and Obi-Wan when Alex comes around the corner, looking hurried.

“I’ve got news from the Senate, Y/N. Emmett is waiting to speak with you.”

“Of course. Alexander, walk with me for a moment. Obi-Wan, Cody, please wait for me in the command center.”

They nod, and Alexander looks concerned as he follows you to your quarters. You pull him into the room and turn on some godawful music from the holo-net, drowning the room in noise. You aren’t sure if little ears are listening, and you want this conversation to stay between the two of you.

“What’s going on-?” he starts to ask, but you shush him.

“Alexander, I need you to do me an enormous favor with no background information and no guarantees that anything will come of it… with no questions asked,” you say, bending toward him to say it in his ear.

He considers you for a moment.

“Anything you need, Y/N.”

Your heart swells with pride- Alexander is a good man, and loyal almost to a fault. You’re lucky to have him.

“I need you to return to Coruscant and keep your eyes on Emmett and the Chancellor. I won’t tell you why, or what you’re looking for, but I want you to report to me if you see anything suspicious; and I mean  _anything._ ”

Alexander nods.

“You know I’d do anything for you, Y/N. I trust you with my life- I just hope you know what you’re doing.”

You smile at him with the face of someone who is absolutely winging it, and he grimaces at you good-naturedly.

“I’ll set out for Coruscant tomorrow. Warn his Highness of my arrival- it will arise suspicion if I show up unannounced.”

“Thank you, Alexander. I’m lucky to have you.”

You hug him before shutting off the music and heading toward the command center.

Cody and Obi-Wan are talking, and Obi-Wan gives you a questioning look. You ignore it and turn on the com line. A hologram of your king appears.

_“Y/N, how was the mission?”_

“We don’t have much to report, I’m afraid. It became obvious very quickly that we were outnumbered. We’ll regroup and return soon with greater numbers, once we have time to formulate an attack strategy.”

You see a look flash across his face, but it’s gone as soon as it appeared.

_“I’m glad you didn’t rush in, Y/N. You are indispensable to me.”_

You smile despite yourself. As much as you bicker, especially lately, he’s still one of your closest friends and you love him. You hope that your friendship can withstand the war.

“Then I should think you have a little more faith in me, Your Highness,” you tease, and he rolls his eyes.

_“I have as much faith in you as you deserve, young one. Now go rest.”_

“I will rest when the war is over or I’m dead, Emmett. By the way- I’ve sent Alexander to Coruscant to assist you. I know from Senator Amidala that you’ve been working a little too hard, and I can’t have that.”

He laughs.

_“I’m working too hard, so you undermine me with a secretary? I thought you had more respect for me.”_

“I have as much respect for you as you deserve, Your Highness,” you retort, and he laughs.

_“Well, thank you, my dear. Now as your commander, I’m ordering you to go rest.”_

You roll your eyes, but promise you’ll rest as you cut off the coms.

You look up to find Obi-Wan raising his eyebrows at you.

“I do believe a rest is in order for all of us, commanders,” you say, smoothly. “We can formulate war plans in the morning light, with clear heads.”

Cody nods.

“Works for me, ma’am.”

You don’t bother to correct him as he strides from the room, and you hope that he sleeps will. He is a good man.

Obi-Wan, on the other hand, stands watching you rather than leaving to sleep.

“Can I help you, Master Kenobi?” you ask, beckoning to him as you turn to leave the room.

You walk toward your quarters, and he falls in step with you.

“You sent Alexander away,” he observes. “Is he not vital to you?”

You shake your head.

“Alexander is an asset, but I feel in light of the new developments here he could be better served on Coruscant.”

It’s diplomatic, but Obi-Wan understands your meaning and watches you closely. You invite him into your quarters for tea, and he accepts.

The quarters are small, but neat, and he takes a seat at your small table while you kick your boots off by the door. Your feet are perpetually sore, and you aren’t even embarrassed that Obi-Wan is watching you make tea in your socks.

“You’re have far surpassed my hopes for you, Y//N,” Obi-Wan says suddenly, and you turn to look at him questioningly.

“What do you mean, Master Kenobi?”

Surely he doesn’t mean your mismatched socks.

“Obi-Wan, please,” he corrects. “I am a General now, and I’m no longer your master.”

You roll your eyes at him. He will always be your master, and you know that he is aware of that.

“You are a capable leader,” he says after a moment, answering your question. “You have the unwavering loyalty of those you command, and your talents in the force remain despite your lack of continued instruction.”

You laugh.

“You flatter me too much, Obi-Wan. I have made many mistakes both in my command and in my life.”

He shakes his head.

“Everyone makes mistakes. Few are as competent and graceful as you.”

You’re embarrassed by his flattery, and you busy yourself with serving tea.

“You’re embarrassed,” he observes, teasingly.

“Yes,” you admit. “Your compliments are unfounded, and I’m undeserving. I’m still a coward- as evidenced by my ‘lack of continued instruction.’”

You’re a professional at using his own words against him, but you’re disappointed to see that he’s older now and it irritates him far less. You wonder how much practice Anakin has given him.

“I disagree. It took immense courage to follow a path that took you away from everything you’ve ever known,” Obi-Wan argues.

“And it took immense cowardice to leave in the middle of the night without telling anyone,” you retort, taking a drink of scalding hot tea. It burns your tongue a little and you frown at it as if it offended you. When you glance back up at Obi-Wan, his eyes are shining with laughter.

“As amazing and powerful as you are, you’re still my Y/N,” he says fondly, almost to himself. You duck your head in shame, but he reaches across the table to life your chin. Your heart pounds in your chest, and you swallow thickly.

“Please don’t, Master Kenobi,” you protest feebly.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t- Don’t call me ‘your Y/N’ and touch me so gently- it may have been years, but you still reduce me to a frightened Padawan when you treat me like this.”

He takes his fingers away from your face gently, but doesn’t immediately respond.

“You’re frightened of me?” he finally asks, though his voice is gentle and not accusatory.

“I don’t know,” you say honestly. “I’m intimidated by you- I’m a twenty-six-year-old General and Ambassador, and I still want to impress you. I am in command of military efforts on this planet, and yet I still look to you for approval. I think I’m afraid of the power you have over me.”

Obi-Wan seems bothered by that.

“You’ve always been so strong, my Y/N. Don’t sell yourself short by thinking anyone has power over you.”

You shake your head, but don’t respond to him. He gives you a gently smile, reaching over to squeeze the hand not holding your tea.

“Do not underestimate yourself, my Padawan.”

With that, he finishes his tea and stands.

You stand to show him the door, still digesting the conversation. You’re surprised when he pulls you into a hug, squeezing you tightly.

“Sleep well, my Y/N.”


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little intense in this chapter! I hope you enjoy!

It takes a few weeks for you to all agree on a plan to attack the base. You’re exhausted- you’ve been briefing an entire squadron of troops Cody and Obi-Wan handpicked from the 212th. You’ve called for Anakin, and you’ve divided troops up based on their strengths.

You shouldn’t be so nervous. Your earlier trip to the base, coupled with a few more small-number reconnaissance trips, has given you all a general idea of the base.

Still, you’re worried that you’ll fail or get killed. The war might hinge on the execution of this plan, and you can’t afford for even one aspect of the plan to fail.

You decide to meditate, even though it’s been a while since you’ve bothered. You need to release your nerves to the force; you are strong, and capable, and you  _will_  win this war.

You have no doubt that this is what you are supposed to be doing- this is the path you were meant to walk. The knowledge calms you, and you pull the living force around you in a comforting embrace.

The force is with you, you will not fail.

You try to hand onto that confidence as you meet Anakin at the hangar. He seems happy to see you, and you’re surprised by how happy you are to see him. You actually hug him, and he hugs you back.

“Welcome to Corulag, Skywalker.”

“Thank you, Ambassador.”

“It’s just Y/N now, thank you. It feels much to formal for times like this.”

He nods sympathetically, and you guide him toward the command center where Obi-Wan and Cody are waiting with a map of the compound.

The compound sits on the edge of a cliff- the cliff face drops off from the entire southeast side of the base and leaves an entrance or exit there out of the question. That leaves you with the other three sides, which you have decided to split up among Cody, Obi-Wan, and Anakin.

You will be entering the base before anyone else, using your stealth talents to find any information you can on a possible connection between Palpatine and the Separatists. You’ll give the signal to the guys when you’ve gotten information, and they’ll fight inward as you fight outward.

Obi-Wan will be leading troops in from the northwest, and he’ll be the first to attack when you call the signal. He’s got the main door to deal with, and his troops will concentrate there.

Cody will attack next, from the northeast, and try and push inward from the side exit. They’ll concentrate on getting as far inward as they can.

Anakin is last, and he will attack from the southwest. He will focus on preventing stragglers from escaping- when Obi-Wan and Cody make their way inside, Anakin’s troops will create a perimeter of the compound and take out any escapees.

It’s a good plan, and you’re confident in the three men you stand with.

It’s still makes you nervous to address the three groups of troops waiting to join you. They’re loyal and incredible men, and you hope that by the grace of the force this will all go according to plan.

“This mission is incredibly vital to the Republic- if all goes well, we could be leaps and bounds closer to ending this war. You all are the best of the best; if anyone can get this done, it’s all of you. Let’s go, men!”

They give you a cheer, and you split apart into your groups to head toward the dark forest.

You go with Obi-Wan’s group, following him silently through the trees. Your heart is beating fast, and you work to calm it.

A lot of your anxiety stems from your decision to go in unarmed- you don’t trust a blaster not to be more trouble than it’s worth. You’ve got nothing but your boots, clothes, and the commlink on your wrist.

The walk feels like it takes forever, and when the trees start to thin for the clearing you turn to Obi-Wan.

“If you don’t hear from me in 30 minutes, commence with the attack,” you remind him, your voice barely a whisper.

“May the force be with you, my Y/N.”

“And with you, Master.”

It feels right to leave off his name, and you can see the glint in his eyes in the darkness. You don’t have time to think about it, though, and you focus on the force. You make your presence as small as you can and focus on being as invisible as possible.

You creep toward the entrance you spied at the last time, knowing that Cody’s troops are assembling on the other side of the tree line. You take comfort in that as you slide past two guards.

This building is obviously Corulag style- you know that the military used to have outposts in this region, many years ago, and this must be a leftover building. You make your way down the hallway, sticking close to the walls. If they kept with the Corulagian way of doing things, the information center should be at the heart of the building.

Corulag military always kept their command centers at the lowest levels, in the center of the buildings, to prevent damage from air attacks. This won’t be easy- you’ve got to go down.

You see a guard in front of what appears to be the door to a stairwell, and you use the force to suggest sleep to him. He yields to your influence, and his head lolls back against the wall. You dodge into the stairwell and your hair stands on end- the stairwell is well lit, and it doesn’t do well for you. If anyone chooses to enter the stairs, you’ll have to defend yourself.

You hear a door open, and freeze. The sound is thankfully above you, so you get moving quickly and head downward.

There is an opening at the far bottom of the stairs- a short hallway that leads toward what looks to you like a command center. You can sense a lot of force signatures, and you bite your lip. There are too many for you to sneak by.

You duck in anyway, clinging to the darkness like a ghost.

The room is long, with a center console in the middle of the rectangular space. There are four other command stations- one in each corner, facing inward. At each of those four stations, there are three people, and there are three more at the center.

You observe their interactions- it’s not as many people as you initially guessed, but it’s still far too many for you to be able to sneak information from any of the consoles without being seen immediately. You know you need to take a chance- if the base is attacked, it might be enough of a distraction for you to be able to get information.

You reach for you coms, ready to call the attack, but a holo-call appears in the center of the room and you hold for a moment.

The hologram is Palpatine- your heart nearly stops in your chest. You switch the commlink to record and transmit the recording to Obi-Wan, and you hope whatever is about to happen is worthwhile.

_“Commander. Is the base prepared for General Grievous’ arrival?”_

You breathe in sharply. If the General is being sent, this could mean death and destruction for your planet and people.

“Yes, sir. Everything is running according to plan, though we worry that the Republic base might soon be mounting an attack. Another Republic transport was seen landing this morning.”

They must have seen Anakin arriving.

_“They have been given permission to attack at will, but fear not. General Grievous will be there in the morning. Once arrived, he will make quick work of the puny Corulag forces, and the planet will be ours.”_

Your heart is pounding as Palpatine signs off the coms.

You send out the sign to attack immediately, and the building’s sirens begin blaring moments later.

The blast doors of the room slam shut. You didn’t expect the room to lock down- this throws a wrench in your plans.

You have no choice now- you’ll have to fight your way out of this.

You call the blaster away from the nearest hand using the force, and you reveal your position. You take out the closest three people before they have time to react, and you have just enough time to duck behind the terminal before the other twelve people begin firing at you. You fire around the closest end to take out two more.

Ten to go.

One dodges around the opposite end of the terminal, hoping to catch you from behind, and he gets a shot off before you can subdue him. It catches you in the leg, searing through your ankle and setting your pants on fire a little. You smack it out with a wince, taking out the man who did it. You drag yourself toward his body, leaning around the console where he came from and firing and three more. You dispatch two of the Separatists, but the third has time to fire back. He doesn’t hit you, and you fire again to take him out.

Six left.

They’re all across the room, firing toward you, and you need to move but it’s difficult with your ankle in the state it’s in.

You need to get out of here alive- you witnessed the call firsthand, and you’ll need to testify about this to the Senate.

There is an explosion above you, and it rumbles the entire building. You aren’t convinced you’ll be able to get out of this, but you have to try.

You use the force to draw away as much pain from your injury as you can, pushing off your uninjured leg and rolling forward to the next terminal. The new angle gives you better access to the six enemies left, and you take out the Commander as he attempts to get the coms to fire up again. You take out two more easily.

Three left.

You take a deep breath and hoist yourself up so you’re firing over the terminal. You catch a blaster bolt in the shoulder, but take out the remaining three Separatists.

The room is eerily quiet now, with the echoes of battle from the floors above, and you slide to the floor as you light up your coms.

“Obi-Wan? Come in, Master,” you cry out.

“Y/N?” he says, sounding alarmed. “I got your transmission about the Chancellor- I forwarded it to the council and they want us there for trial immediately. Where are you?”

You try to stand and fail, your legs collapsing underneath you.

“The basement. How are things upstairs?”

“The base is almost clear. Are you trapped? Y/N, you sound hurt.”

You hold back a cry of pain as more shoots through you.

“I can probably get the blast doors open, but it’ll take me a hot minute. I can barely move- I’ve been shot twice, Master,” you grunt out.

You can feel his concern.

“Y/N-“

“You should leave,” you suggest. “You need to get back to Coruscant before the Chancellor discovers what we know and escapes.”

“Don’t even start, Y/N,” he warns. “Stay where you are.”

He cuts off communications, and you use your uninjured arm to pull yourself up on the terminal. The movement sends lightning bolts of pain through you, but you still push yourself to the center terminal and grip it to hold yourself up. There’s an override for the blast door, but when you try it, it prompts you for a handprint.

You groan, and turn toward the body of the Commander.

You lean all your weight on the console and use your remaining energy to drag the man to you in the force. It takes all the focus you have, and you don’t answer your coms when they blink with a waiting transmission. Your ribs hurt from the edge of the terminal, but you ignore it as you press the commander’s hand against the terminal.

The doors groan, and open slowly.

You drop to the floor with a groan, trying to stay awake against the flood of pain.

There are feet on the stairs, and you hear footsteps running toward you. Hands grab your face as the world goes fuzzy.

“Y/N, stay with me.”

It’s Obi-Wan, you realize happily. You let him lift you into his arms and leave the room. He commands the clone troopers to look for information in the computers, and you realize Cody is with you as well. You’re glad he’s okay. He tells Obi-Wan something about staying to finish, and you want to thank him but your mouth won’t cooperate.

There are bodies everywhere as Obi-Wan carries you through the halls, and you reach out to Anakin in the force. He’s okay. Good.

“There’s a transport waiting, Y/N,” Obi-Wan says, distress leaking into his tone. “Just a little longer.”

The terrain is rocky as he carries you to the ship.

“It’s okay, Master,” you slur, not even bothering to pretend that you keep calling him that because it’s his title.

You’re calling him Master because he’s  _yours._

“I know,” he says, but as soon as you are in the ship with Anakin he tells the pilot to take off. He lays you down on one of the benches, and pushes your hair from your face as you grimace in pain.

“I need to heal you, Y/N,” he says, and you nod gently. You hate the feeling of being healed by the force; it feels intrusive to have the force working your body’s cells that way, but you can’t argue right now. There will be time to rest and recover fully when the Council and Senate have been made aware of the Chancellor’s treachery.

“Don’t be stressed, Master,” you slur. “You need to be calm and take control with the force.”

The words are not yours- he said them to you many years ago, when trying to teach you how to heal with the force. You had been so nervous that you nearly broke the wrist you were trying to heal.

You close your eyes as he laughs humorlessly. He must remember the lesson.

“Y/N, please stay awake,” he says urgently. “I need you to stay awake or I won’t be able to concentrate.”

You’re too delirious with pain to read into it, so you file it away for later and open your eyes with a little struggle.

Anakin is hovering anxiously above Obi-Wan’s shoulder, and you smile deliriously at him.

“Anakin. Did Obi-Wan tell you why I left?” you say, distracting yourself as Obi-Wan leans over your shoulder.

Anakin’s entire body is tense from attention and anxiety, but he plays along with you.

“No, Y/N.”

“I was in love with him,” you slur, and grimace as more pain washes through you.

You can see the surprise on Anakin’s face and you giggle.

“I know, right? I still am, even. Sort of. I suck at that, to be honest. Maybe it’s the beard?”

You aren’t sure that you’re making sense anymore, and Anakin laughs as you babble.

“I was just really bad at the rules,” you continue. “I’m also bad at dodging blaster fire. This hurts. Why? Everything hurts. Obi, everything is fuzzy black,” you mumble, and Anakin looks serious again.

“Master, is she going to be okay?” he asks, and Obi-Wan doesn’t respond as he moves his hands from your shoulder to your leg. He’s deep in concentration, and you wade through the blackness to admire the way his face looks in thought. He’s remarkable, and you feel fortunate to be around him.

You can feel him knitting tissue and bone back together, and while the healing isn’t total, at least the wounds are closed.

The world is still fuzzy, and when Ob-Wan tries to stand you reach for him.

“Don’t leave,” you whimper, and he leans down beside you.

“I’m not leaving, my Y/N. I must contact the council and tell them to be ready with healers. Anakin will be right here, and I’ll be back in a moment.”

You nod and reluctantly let him walk away, and you try to sit up.

“Whoa,” Anakin says, gently pressing you back down. “That’s not a good idea. You’re barely healed, Y/N.”

“I know, Anakin,” you grumble. You try to sit up again, and he sighs like he’s caring for an insolent child. He helps you sit up, though, propping you up against the bench and sitting beside you so you can lean on him.

“Your master is amazing,” you slur ruefully. “A bit dense and strict sometimes, but he loves with everything he has. He’s just the best.”

Anakin nods, thoughtfully.

“I know. I’m fortunate to have him.”

You nod, closing your eyes for a moment.

“Anakin, I’m sorry I didn’t like you when I first met you. You’re a remarkable Jedi. I’m fortunate to know you,” you mumble, aware that your words are becoming more garbled.

Your head feels heavy, and you let it fall to his shoulder.

“I’m sleepy,” you whine.

“I know, Y/N. You can’t right now. Obi-Wan will be right back.”

You shake your head slowly. The world is spinning.

“I can’t. I need to sleep.”

No, Y/N-“

You close your eyes anyway, and you hear Anakin calling for Obi-Wan as you drift into deep sleep. 


	7. Chapter Seven

You don’t dream. It’s a black hole of consciousness, and you’re only brought out of it by a fresh wave of pain.

You don’t feel as delirious as you open your eyes and take in your surroundings, but you feel as if your body is rebooting like an unused droid.

You’re still on the ship, so you can’t have been unconscious for much longer than an hour- Corulag and Coruscant are blessedly close, and you should be arriving soon. Anakin is reading a datapad across the ship from you, and you’re embarrassed to realize that you’ve been laying against Obi-Wan.

“Master Kenobi,” you say, sitting up and stretching painfully. “How long until we reach Coruscant?”

“Y/N,” he says, his voice betraying his relief. “We’re almost there. Maybe half an hour.”

You nod, trying to rub the sleep from your eyes with your uninjured arm.

“What have they decided to do about Chancellor Palpatine?”

“He will be arrested on behalf of the Republic when we arrive on the planet. You will be brought to the Temple healers-,”

“No,” you interrupt. “I need to be there when he’s arrested. You need a Senate representative there, and I’m directly involved. I need to be there, Obi-Wan.”

“Absolutely not,” he argues. “You’re injured, and while I did the best I could to heal you, you need immediate professional attention. Besides, if he fights us I can’t risk you getting caught in the crossfire. The Council has a team set up to arrest him-,”

“Obi-Wan, please,” you say, standing. You wince at the movement. You want to make a point, but  _stars_  you underestimated how much it would hurt. Your ankle is screaming in pain, and it spreads throughout your body.

“No, Y/N. Absolutely not.”

You look him in the eyes and give him the sternest look you can muster through the haze of pain.

“You’re not my master, Obi-Wan. You can’t give me orders.”

It’s juvenile, and you both know it.

“Don’t be impertinent, Y/N. I will personally carry you to the temple healer if I must.”

“You’re too stubborn for your own good, old man,” you say, grumbling. He reaches for you.

“Sit. You need to rest.”

You glare halfheartedly at him, but you let him take your hands and help you sit down. His hand travels up your arm and brushes your hair out of your face. You meet his eyes, and idly think about how much you want to kiss him.

You can’t help but grin when you think about his reaction. He would probably combust.

“What?” he asks, suspiciously. You hadn’t realized you’d been staring.

“Nothing,” you respond innocently, sitting back against the bench and trying to find a position that doesn’t hurt.

“I know that look,” he informs you, his suspicion not waning.

“What look?” you ask, as you look up to see Anakin watching your exchange with fascination.

“You know what look,” Obi-Wan counters. “It’s the look you give me when you’re planning something you most definitely should not be planning.”

You roll your eyes.

“You’re getting paranoid in your old age, Master Kenobi.”

“I’m not old!” he bickers, indignant, as the pilot sticks her head into the room. She’s a beautiful Twi’lek woman about your age, and she seems familiar but you can’t place her right away.

“Master Kenobi, we’re descending onto Coruscant momentarily.”

“Good. Thank you,” he says, suddenly the picture of composure.

You can’t help but giggle.

“You’re precious, Master Kenobi,” you tease, and he rolls his eyes.

“Be quiet, or I’ll have you escorted to the temple healer in full restraints. For your safety, of course,” he says carefully. Restraints are only for crash patients and wouldn’t be needed to bring you to the healer- he’s threatening you.

The man rarely bluffs though, and you know better than to press him lest you end up in a neck-brace. Instead, you hold your tongue and lean against his side as the ship makes its descent. You’re surprised when he drapes an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer. It’s the most comfortable position you’ve found so far, so you ignore Anakin’s look of surprise from across the room.

Obi-Wan’s side is warm and welcoming, and you enjoy it with eyes closed as the ship begins its landing.

When the ship has fully landed, there is a transport waiting to take you to the healer. There is also a smattering of Jedi Masters you recognize waiting for Obi-Wan and Anakin. Master Windu, Master Plo, Master Fisto… they’re all powerhouses, and you realize this must be the group going to arrest Palpatine. Your heart pounds in your chest.

Chancellor Palpatine won’t be easy to bring down. The thought gives you anxiety; while you may not be a Jedi, you  _know_ these people. You want them all to be safe.

When Obi-Wan begins to walk toward the group, you reach out and grab his robe. It’s childish, but your worry rests heavy in your chest.

When he turns to you, you throw your arms around his neck and hug him tightly.

“May the force be with you, Master.”

“And with you, my Y/N,” he whispers, as you pull away.

He once again begins to walk toward the group of Jedi, and you turn painfully toward the waiting transport. Your ankle is burning in pain, and you’re happy to see Alexander and Emmett waiting for you.

Alexander strides toward you, sliding an arm around your waist to help you walk.

“Thank you, Alexander.”

You smile toward Emmett, where he stands at the door to the ship.

“Your Highness,” you call. “It’s good to see you. We have much to discuss.”

You get the overwhelming feeling that something is  _wrong_  at the same moment you meet your king’s eyes. Time seems to slow down, and the world sounds far away as Obi-Wan yells for you and chaos erupts on the platform. You push Alexander away from you as Emmett raises his arm, firing  _one two three_  blaster bolts from the blaster he had concealed in his sleeve. Two miss you, but one catches you in the stomach.

Your existing wounds are sore spots, and this new wound seems to begin sucking the life away from you. You can’t take this much pain.

“Why?” you manage to ask, locking eyes with Emmet as you crumple to the ground. He doesn’t answer, and the sharp sting of his betrayal is perhaps worse than the pain of your blaster injuries.

Time is slow like molasses as two Senate guards detain him.

All of your years with Emmett flash before your eyes- all the secrets you revealed to him in the early light of dawn after a long night. You think of all the shared jokes, memories… you loved him. He was your brother- your mentor. Now he’s killing you.

“Y/N!” Obi-Wan says, panic rising in his voice as he grabs you in his arms. You hadn’t realized he was there. He must have run back to you when Emmett attacked.

You’re going to die. This is it. You can’t delay the inevitable, and you need your death to mean something.

“No, Obi-Wan. Go- Palpatine must be taken care of. He  _cannot_  be allowed to escape!’

You push at his chest, but you’re too weak to make a difference.

He hesitates, ready to argue.

“Go!” you command, and he reluctantly takes off toward the rest of the group striding into the Senate building to find Palpatine.

You hope that the force will be with them, and that no one will be harmed before this all ends. Even if you can’t be around to see it, this war must end. Peace must return to this galaxy.

You watch with blurred vision as the guards begin to drag Emmett away.

“Go with him, Alexander,” you command, your words thick in your mouth as the world spins around you. You have to work to fight against the black creeping against your vision. “Make sure he is held a prisoner for his crimes- don’t let him talk his way out of this.”

“Y/N, you need a healer,” Alexander says, panicking. He’s such a good man- the galaxy deserves a man like him. You’re glad you lived knowing him.

“I know. I’ll go,” you say, though it feels like a lie. “Now go. That’s an order from your commander.”

He nods, resolute, and turns to run after the guard.

Your vision swims, and the Twi’lek pilot is suddenly in front of you.

“Y/N, let me help you,” she says, and you let her help you up and toward the transport. It all feels futile, and you’re barely keeping the darkness at bay.

“Thank you, Dia,” you say, realizing why she was so familiar. She was your best friend, once upon a time.

You cry out in pain as she helps you into a seat.

“Go! To the temple, now!” she commands to the transport pilot, and you sag against the bench.

“Stay with me, YN.”

The darkness is swimming in your vision, blurring everything.

“Dia, I’m sorry,” you start, knowing that these will be your last words. “I’m sorry that I never told you why I left.”

“Hush, Y/N. Save your strength.”

“No, please. Let me apologize. I never told you because you were perfect- I knew you would be an amazing Jedi and I was ashamed that I could be in love with my master. I was weak. I was weak and I left without telling anyone who cared about me- it’s my biggest regret and I’m sorry. You were always so good to me.”

She laughs sweetly, brushing her hands through your hair.

“I know, Y/N. I knew you were in love with him. You used to talk about him in your dreams, and I knew as soon as I saw you crying that night what was about to happen. I only grieved for you- I can’t imagine leaving all that we had known. You were brave. I never thought less of you for leaving.”

You shake your head, but the darkness in your vision is blocking you from coming up with a creative response. Your monologue took too much energy out of you.

“Dia, I’m going to die,” you whimper.

“No. We’re almost to the temple. You’ll be okay,” she reassures you, but you shake your head.

“I need you to know that I love you like a sister, and I love Padme and Alexander and Obi-Wan and even Anakin. I never stopped loving each and every one of you- I never did. I just- I loved too hard for my own good.”

“I know, Y/N.”

The blackness is blocking out the light. You’re going.

“Tell them all I love them, my old friend.”

The black takes over.


	8. Chapter Eight

Everything is white. It’s bright, and it shines through your eyelids. Your body doesn’t feel right. You feel the force around you, but when you try to grab it it’s like a wet eel.

You don’t open your eyes, but you know where you are. The medical smell of bacta and the quiet serenity of the room are a dead giveaway- Dia must have gotten you to the temple healers.

You curse under your breath as you try to move, and you feel like you’ve been sat on by a Shaak.

“Y/N,” a familiar voice breathes, and you open your eyes to meet Obi-Wan’s. Suddenly, you remember why you’re injured.

“Obi-Wan,” you say urgently, sitting up so fast your head spins. “You’re okay, thank the stars. What happened with the Chancellor- is everyone okay? Was he arrested? Did Emmett escape? Is my planet safe?”

“Hush, my foolish Y/N,” he teases, guiding you back against the pillows. “The war is over. Palpatine has been captured, and Dooku has been dispatched by Anakin and myself-,”

“Wait,” you interrupt. “How long have I been out? You had time to go hunt down Dooku?”

He looks almost guilty, and he takes your hand.

“It’s been nearly two months,” he says carefully. “You’ve been in a healing trance the entire time. We weren’t sure if-.”

He stops himself, and you digest the information carefully.

“I thought I was going to die. I confessed my final thoughts to Dia,” you say, thinking back on the memory with embarrassment.

“I know,” Obi-Wan says with a grin. “She told me.”

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Anakin says from the doorway. You roll your eyes at the eavesdropper as he strides into the room and takes a seat on the other side of you. You’re surprised that Obi-Wan doesn’t let go of your hand.

“It’s nothing you didn’t tell Obi-Wan on the way to Coruscant,” Anakin continues with a grin. “Although, I’d wager you don’t remember much of that. I was also surprised to learn that you told Dia you loved me- does that mean you’re finally done being mad at me for stealing Obi-Wan?”

You glare at him, but it’s impossible for you to hold a straight face.

“Don’t take my love for granted, Anakin. If you keep saying stupid things like that I might have to take it back.”

He just grins at you.

“You can’t take it back.”

You open your mouth to bicker with him, but then it occurs to you that you interrupted Obi-Wan before he could tell you about Emmett.

“What happened to Emmett?”

“He and Palpatine will serve trial for their crimes in front of the Senate,” Obi-Wan explains carefully, and you nod.

“It all feels too good to be true.”

Obi-Wan squeezes your hand.

“There are still things to do; there are small Separatist cells being disposed of, and planets to accept back into the Republic. General Grievous still has to be found, and the Jedi will have a tough time making sure the Sith are really dealt with. The Senate is scrambling with the bureaucracy of it all, but it’s getting done.”

“How can I help?” you ask, hopefully, as you sit up again. There is less dizziness now, and Obi-Wan can barely stop you before you swing your legs out of bed.

“Slow down. There will be time for you to help, but for now we need you to rest. Your situation was incredibly severe, Y/N.”

You frown at him, but he’s stubborn and unwavering as ever.

“Can I at least get up and walk around? Now that I’m awake I feel useless- besides, after 2 months I bet a walk would be good for me.”

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes, and you do your best to look pleading and pathetic.

“Fine.”

You grin, and he looks annoyed as he and Anakin help you from the bed.

Anakin walks on your right side, ready to catch you, and Obi-Wan walks on the other. You take Obi-Wan’s arm, using him as a sort of crutch as you adjust to the stiffness of your body and the soreness of healed wounds.

The halls of the Jedi temple are as beautiful as you always remembered them to be. They calm you- it’s the most serene place in existence. You breathe a little easier as you walk quietly.

As comforting as it is, it’s still bittersweet- you’ve been away for so long, and being here again feels a little like returning home.

“Young Y/N. Out of bed, you are.”

You turn to see Yoda perched on a bench, looking at you expectantly. Obi-Wan and Anakin help you sit down, and walk some distance away. You appreciate the illusion of privacy they’re offering.

“Yes, Master Yoda. Stiff and sore, but thankful to be alive.”

“Thankful, you should not be. Proud, instead,” he says, gently.

“Oh? Should I be proud of my continued ability to get shot? Have I set some record for number of blaster bolts taken in one day and living?”

Master Yoda doesn’t think you’re nearly as funny as you do, and he whaps his cane against your knee.

“Overcome, you have. Ended the war, you did.”

“That’s oversimplifying it and giving me a little too much credit, but I appreciate your support all the same.”

This time he whaps you harder with his cane.

“Impudent, you have become. Forget your place, you do.”

You smile ruefully at the Jedi master, but you can feel that his reprimand is good-natured. He isn’t really mad- you wouldn’t be you if you weren’t sassing him. Besides, he can’t actually formally reprimand you anymore.

“I’m sorry, Master Yoda.”

He nods.

“Forgiven you are, of course. Spoken with Obi-Wan, have you?”

You quirk an eyebrow in confusion. You’ve obviously been speaking.

“About your feelings, young one,” Master Yoda prompts, and your face heats up. You glance toward Obi-Wan and Anakin, but they aren’t looking at you. They’re quietly talking to one another, heads bowed.

“Yes, Master. We discussed it before the war.”

He shakes his head.

“More than just _your_ feelings, there are. Ask Obi-Wan how he feels, you will.”

He whacks you on the knee with his cane again as he stands. He’s quick despite his age, and you stare after him in shock.

“Yes, Master Yoda.”

When Obi-Wan and Anakin return to you, you look apologetically at the younger man.

“Anakin, could I have a minute with Obi-Wan?”

He grins at you like he knows something you don’t, and you wish you could whack him with Master Yoda’s cane.

“Of course, Y/N.”

Obi-Wan is concerned, and you can feel it rolling off him in waves as you stand unsteadily. You take his arm again as you get your bearings.

“Let’s go to the gardens, Master Kenobi,” you suggest, and he walks you there carefully.

The gardens are as gorgeous as ever, and you both take a seat in a cool, isolated corner. It takes you a moment before you remember that these are the gardens you visited the night you abandoned the Order- the bench you both take a seat on is the very one you sat on that night. You never thought you’d see these gardens again, and it’s bittersweet.

“So, Master Kenobi,” you begin, leaning your head on his shoulder.

“You know, you don’t have to call me Master Kenobi, Y/N,” he starts, but you shush him. You need to work up your courage and if he’s speaking you won’t be able to.

He indulges you and waits quietly, shifting so he can wrap and arm around your shoulders. You adjust your position so you can lean against him more comfortably.

“What troubles you, Y/N?” he finally prompts quietly.

“Master Yoda said that I needed to ask you about your feelings,” you say, quietly and serenely, as you focus on one of the streams flowing through the garden. There are fish in the stream, and you can feel the living force flowing through them.

He’s quiet for a moment, and you try not to be nervous.

“I’m not sure what to say,” he says after a moment, and you roll your eyes.

“Obi-Wan, you know exactly what I’m asking.”

He nods, turning his head away. You can feel him tense up, and you begin to pull away. The rejection stings, but he soothes it immediately by pulling you back to him.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “Despite my age, I am still susceptible to being tongue-tied like a youngling.”

You look up at him, but he’s still not looking at you. You don’t say anything- this is obviously very hard for him. Besides, if you’ve waited over ten years to hear what he had to say you’re sure you can be patient for a few more moments.

You toy with the cloth of his robes as you wait. It’s coarse and familiar, and you remember when you wore similar clothes.

You remember the first time you were given a cloak as a Padawan- it was to wear on your first mission with your master. Your height left something to be desired, and you remembered Obi-Wan’s amusement as you tried to practice walking with the cloak on. It tripped you numerous times, and you vividly remember his laugh.

He usually chuckles, or grins mischievously- this was different. It was one of his rare genuine laughs, where he tilts his head back and his eyes close as he guffaws. It’s precious, and even now is a dear memory to you.

“I love you,” Obi-Wan blurts, startling you from your reminiscing.

“What?”

He takes the hand that is playing with his tunic and brings it to his lips.

“I love you. I have for a long time, though I knew it was inappropriate and against the Code.”

You’re quiet for a long moment.

“How long?”

He’s silent.

“Obi-Wan, did you love me when I was a Padawan?” you ask, unable to keep the urgency from your tone as you sit up and look at him. You aren’t sure why it matters- it’s probably some childish need for validation. You’re aware that the past is the past and it wouldn’t change anything, but you’re curious.

He won’t meet your eyes, and it occurs to you that you’re ten years apart. If he loved you back then, it must be steeped heavily in shame and confusion for him.

Your heart melts a little in your chest.

“Obi-Wan, I’m sorry,” you start, and he shakes his head.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

His tone is wooden as he stares at the stream, but you won’t accept it. You’ve spent too long wondering what it would be like if Obi-Wan actually cared for you- you’re not about to let this go so easily.

“Look at me.”

He doesn’t look up, so you reach for his face. You only mean to turn his face to look at you, but your lips meet anyway. It’s a fevered kiss, and you can feel the years of unresolved tension melting away. Your body is still sore when he pulls you close, but you don’t stop. Your hands tighten on his hair, and you can only let yourself flow into the kiss.

Obi-Wan, always the responsible one, is the first to pull away.

“We can’t do this here.”

“But we _can_ do this, right?” you question, wanting to make sure you’re on the same page. He gives you a sloppy grin, and suddenly he looks 26 again.

“I love you,” you say, experimentally. His grin doesn’t waver, and he presses another quick kiss to your lips before helping you stand up from the bench.

There are thousands of questions to be answered, but you can’t make yourself care as you walk peacefully with Obi-Wan from the gardens.

You spy movement out the corner of your eye as you reach the door, and turn just in time to see a certain Grandmaster smiling mischievously as he walks away. You glance up at Obi-Wan, and he shrugs. You both seem to agree that you’ll deal with that later.

It occurs to you that you haven’t heard anything about Padme or Alexander, and you have no idea what’s been happening on Corulag in your absence. Exhaustion has caught up with you, though, and you don’t protest as Obi-Wan lifts you into the bed in the healer’s wing.

“Obi-Wan?” you ask, sleep already creeping into your tone.

“Yes, my love?”

“Remind me to talk to Alexander when I wake up.”

You fall asleep to the sound of his chuckle, and you sleep peacefully.

 


	9. Chapter Nine

When you wake up again, you’re ready to get up and move. Your body feels rejuvenated and your spirit feels healed. Obi-Wan is sleeping soundly on the chair beside your bed, and you smile fondly at him.

You love seeing him like this- relaxed and calm. He has so much to worry about, and he’s truly peaceful when asleep like this.

You feel almost as if your confessions were a dream, but when he opens his eyes and smiles at you, you know it was real.

“I love you,” you say, enjoying the feel of it.

“I love you too, my Y/N,” he says sleepily, stretching and rolling his shoulders.

“I need to go,” you say, and he raises an eyebrow as you swing your feet over the edge of the bed and stand up. You’re wobbly on your feet, and Obi-Wan is up in an instant to take hold of you.

“Y/N! Sit back down.”

“Relax, Obi-wan. I’m not going to collapse. I’m a little unsteady but I’ll be okay. Can transport be arranged for me to the Senate? I’ll need to speak with Alexander and we’ll have to travel to Corulag.”

He shakes his head furiously.

“You need to rest, Y/N. Diplomacy can wait-,”

“Absolutely not,” you interject. “I’ve already failed my people by being asleep for two months when they have no King- I can’t waist time. Besides,” you say teasingly. “We were apart for ten years, my love. I’m sure we’ll survive a few days apart.”

He doesn’t seem particularly keen on the idea, and he insists on escorting you to see Alexander.

“Y/N!” a voice calls as you step off the transport with Obi-Wan. You open your arms and accept a hug from Padme, and then Alexander. It feels like it’s been years since you’ve seen either of them.

“I’m glad to see you both,” you say fondly, as Obi-Wan walks the three of you to a sitting room. You appreciate his protectiveness, but you’re going to have to have a talk about it- he should not be neglecting his formal duties.

_I’m not._

Your eyes snap to Obi-Wan’s. It figures he wouldn’t tell you you’d formed a bond until he wanted to argue with you. Judging by his grin, he must have understood that.

You sit beside Obi-Wan on one of the couches, reaching over to rest a hand on his arm. It feels good to be able to casually touch him like this- to be close to him.

“Y/N, I assume I should contact the royal court and advise them that their new Queen will be arriving?” Alexander asks, and you snort with laughter.

The other three in the room look at you with surprise, as you finish laughing.

“Alexander, I am  _not_  returning to become Queen.”

The thought seems to send Alexander into a panic.

“Y/N, please. Think this through. The people know and love you- you’re a war hero! It would be a smooth transition.”

“Alexander, think about who  _else_  the people know and love.”

He looks at you expectantly.

“You’ll be the next King,” you inform him casually. “I will take my former place on Coruscant as Senator- this time in an official capacity.”

Alexander looks about to faint, and Padme pours him a drink.

“Y/N,” Alexander starts apprehensively.

“Hush, Alexander. Listen to me. You were born and raised on Corulag- while I love the planet, you know that I spent the first sixteen years of my life on Coruscant. I’m not fit to be queen of a planet I did not spend my formative years on. Besides, I’ve never been one for crowns,” you tease. “Plus, I know you have a distaste for Senate proceedings- if I serve as your Senator you’ll be able to avoid the Senate and stay on Corulag where you belong.”

Alexander still seems apprehensive, but he has stopped trying to argue.

“Alex, you’ve always been my right-hand man. I trust you with my life, and for good reason. Our people deserve a man like you as their King.”

Padme nods her head.

“I agree. You will make a capable king, Alexander.”

He sighs, and looks between you and Padme.

“Fine. Will you be travelling with me back to Corulag, Y/N?”

You nod.

“I should at least be there to run the coronation. I’ll also need to make sure that our military is being dissolved as per the request of the Senate. The court will need addressed, and I can handle that for you. You should probably pick new cabinet members.”

Alexander nods thoughtfully as you lift off a few more official duties that will need completed. You smile with pride- he really will be a fantastic king.

“We should leave shortly- we’ve been without a ruler for too long.”

“Of course,” you agree. “I should be ready soon. May I have a moment with Obi-Wan?”

Padme and Alexander give you the room, and Padme is already giving Alexander tips on how to rule a planet. You had nearly forgotten she was a Queen at one time.

Obi-Wan has a sour look on his face, and hasn’t spoken to you yet. You frown at him and stand, moving toward the window and beckoning to him. He stands and follows you, wrapping his arms around you from behind as you stand in front of the window and look out at Coruscant.

“Obi-Wan, you must not let our love breed fear and frustration in you,” you say gently, leaning back against him.

“It’s difficult, Y/N,” he admits. “I feel like I lost you for ten years- the idea of losing you again frightens me.”

“I won’t ever leave again,” you say, turning to look him in the eyes. “You cannot let this expose you to the dark side.”

“Y/N…”

“Promise me, Obi-Wan, that you will not be distracted by us. You cannot become weak because of it- I won’t forgive myself. We may only do this if it makes us both stronger for it,” you say resolutely.

He smiles gently, ducking his head to rest his forehead against yours.

“I’m sorry, my love. I promise.”

You lean up and press a kiss to his lips. You understand his apprehension- you’re preparing to return to your planet, and you have no guarantees that Obi-Wan will not be given a mission before you return. You could return to find out he’s been sent off somewhere. There’s also the council to consider, and the Code. 

The idea gives you anxiety, but you make an effort to release it to the force. You have the rest of your lives to love one another- time apart will not hurt you.

It’s still painful to say goodbye to him on the landing platform shortly after, though you know it’s for the best. You can’t neglect your duties. You’ll have plenty of time together when you return.

 _I love you_ , you think, addressing him.

_I love you too._

You resist the urge to kiss him on the platform- it wouldn’t be good for either of you.

Alexander must sense your sadness on the ship, though, and he looks at you curiously.

“Y/N, you’re stressed. Did something happen between you and the Jedi?”

You grin at him.

“Alexander, you are too perceptive for your own good.”

He shrugs. “A good king knows his subjects.”

“Obi-Wan was my master when I trained as a Jedi,” you confess. “I left the Order because I was in love with him. When I was almost killed, he confessed his love to me.”

Your heart flutters at the words, and you look out the window with a smile, thinking of everything you’ve been through together.

You’re well and truly screwed.


	10. Chapter Ten

“Y/N!” a voice calls, and you turn.

A Rodian woman is running toward you, her shoes tapping against the polished floor of the palace of Corulag. She carries a garment bag in her hands, and it’s almost as big as she is.

“Lina! Is it time to get ready already?”

She nods, and she looks annoyed with you.

“Yes, Y/N,” she hisses, grabbing your arm and tugging you toward your room.

“It’s not even 1200!” you argue, in your defense. “The Coronation isn’t for four hours!”

“Y/N, it takes a long time to get ready for something like this. I can’t let you look any less than perfect!”

You sigh, sitting down at the vanity table she sits you at. A few of her assistants join her in the room, starting on your hair and makeup.

Alexander’s coronation is today, and you’re performing the ceremony. It’s typically performed by the King or Queen who is turning the throne over, but in this case that’s obviously not possible. You’re doing it as Alexander’s friend, and the thought of the ceremony springs a well of anxiety in you.

Despite your worries, the day goes smoothly. Your dress, hair, and makeup are absolutely perfect and you don’t stutter when you perform the coronation, despite delivering a speech in four different languages and crowing your friend.

The coronation itself is highly publicized, and you’re glad that the rest of the week you spend on the planet is much less intense.

You spend it enjoying the company of some of your close friends, and meeting people Alexander has chosen to assist him.

You still get work done- you tour various military posts to make sure that they’re destroyed. It sends a strong message to the people- Alexander’s administration will not tolerate war; it’s a promise that you will rely on diplomacy.

Alexander has a few bumpy moments, but for the most part makes it through the week following his coronation without incident. He carries himself more like a King every day, and you’re proud of him.

On your final evening before returning to Coruscant, you celebrate with a gala in the palace. It’s Alexander’s first as King, and it thankfully goes well.

You and Alexander sneak away from the party late into the evening, going up to your room to reminisce and talk.

“You’re doing well for yourself, old friend,” you say fondly, taking a long drink of wine. You’re still in your gown but you’re barefoot, and he’s loosened the cravat around his neck.

“It’s thanks to you, Y/N. I wouldn’t have made it through this week without you,” he says, and you shake your head.

“You have too much faith in me, Alexander. You have always been a great man- destined to lead.”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree, my friend,” he says, reaching for the bottle of wine you both snatched from a waiter before you ducked out of the party. He refills both your glass and his own as you both step onto the balcony that hangs above the opulent palace gardens.

“Of course,” you tease. “Diplomacy at its finest.”

He laughs, as you both look out across the capital city.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to thinking of myself as a King,” he says after a long silence. He sounds uncertain, and you smile fondly at him.

“That’s a good thing, Alexander. Your title is not who you are, it’s what you do. You must keep true to yourself; remember that you are one of your people, and not elevated above them.”

Alexander nods.

“You should stay,” he blurts, and you look over at him in surprise, taking a drink.

“What?”

“You should stay on Corulag. The people love you, Y/N. You’re a hero here- they love seeing news about you. I could use you here, helping me and keeping me on track.”

“Alex, you don’t need me to keep you on track. The Senate needs me.”

He shakes his head.

“I can send someone else.”

“But I  _want_  to go back to Coruscant,” you say, gently. “Padme and Anakin are there. Obi-Wan is there.”

He scoffs at that, and you frown at him.

“What?”

“Y/N, you’re kidding yourself if you think that things will work out between you and the Jedi. You were trained by them yourself- you know their ways. The look down upon love! How do you expect a Master Jedi to give up on everything he’s ever known for you? He’s already let you go once- he can do it again.”

Tears well in your eyes. It’s as if Alexander is voicing all of your deepest, darkest insecurities.

“Alexander, that is none of your business. My relationships are independent from my duty to the Senate, which I  _must_  fulfill.”

Alexander shakes his head sadly.

“You should stay here, Y/N. Please consider it.”

He turns to leave, pausing at the balcony doors.

“Consider staying with someone who can actually love you the way you desire.”

He shuts the door to the balcony, and a moment later you hear the door to your room open and close.

You stumble into your room, closing the balcony door behind you and sitting on the floor. You spill some of your wine on your gown as you go down, and you frown at it. You can’t be bothered to clean it up- instead, you stare at it as the red liquid spreads over the fabric like a bloodstain.

It makes you think of your blaster wounds, and you flinch at the memory. Your stomach aches at the thought of it, and you push the pain away.

You wonder why you have such bad luck with kings, though you’re certain you and Alexander will remain friends. He doesn’t seem like the type to kill you, though your intuitions were also wrong about Emmett.

Your heart still aches at the thought of your former friend. You’ve been avoiding thinking about him, but the wine in your blood makes you careless and you start to think about him.

You remember him stumbling upon you in the early morning light of Coruscant when you were sixteen. He was on a walk, as he was always an early riser. He was the same age as Obi-Wan, with kind eyes and long hair, and you trusted him when he offered to help you.

He offered to take you to the temple, thinking you were lost, and you nearly had a panic attack at the suggestion. He took you to breakfast instead, cancelling his meetings for the day and talking to you. He gave you clothes, and offered you a place at his side. You had started as his assistant, though it was mostly you refusing to leave his side and helping with anything he needed.

He was your best friend.

You had evolved with him, learning about diplomacy and leadership. He taught you how to talk to people, and how to be your own person. You became one of his most trusted advisors, and were the youngest person to serve in such an official capacity.

The image of him glaring at you, blaster raised, still hurts. You realize idly that you’re crying, tears falling on the wine-stained fabric of your dress.

Up to this point, you have refused to process Emmett’s betrayal. You’ve had far too much to do.

Now that you’re thinking about it, though, you can’t help but sob over the loss of your friend. He saved you, that day on Coruscant, and it doesn’t make sense to you that he would try to end it all ten years later.

The pain is raw and burning, but you refuse to release it to the force. Instead, you choose to let it fester.

You can’t sleep, and you’re still sitting on the floor in your quarters when the sun rises in the morning, casting a gray light across the capital. You finally get up, needing to change and make yourself look a little bit less like a mess for your trip to Coruscant.

You fix your appearance meticulously, but you can’t bring yourself to smile.

Alexander picks up on your sadness immediately when he comes to get you, and he wraps you in a hug.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I had no right to say the things I did. Please forgive me.”

You hug him back.

“You’re forgiven, my friend. I’m sorry I can’t return your feelings,” you say, frowning at him.

“You are too remarkable a woman to apologize for such things, Y/N. Make me proud in the Senate- represent your people well.”

You hug him again before you make your way to the ship. Your sadness doesn’t leave you, even as you take off toward Coruscant. You worry about your relationship with Obi-Wan, unable to forget the things that Alexander said. He might have said them in drunken anger, but he had a point. There is no way Obi-Wan will be able to love you the way you want. He’s probably already asked to be sent on a mission so he doesn’t have to see you when you get back.

It’s probably better that way- he can focus on the force and you can grieve in private.

The journey isn’t long, and you know it would be the perfect time for a short nap, but your mind won’t let you rest. You consider meditating, but the force is illusive. Instead, you merely sit and think, ruminating on the nature of your feelings and duties to the Senate.

At this point, you must stick to what you told Alexander; your duties to the Senate come first. You are here to serve your people, no matter what.

You resign yourself to that, and compose yourself as you step off the transport. You’re surprised to see Anakin waiting for you, and you smile at him.

“Anakin! How are you?”

He falls in step beside you.

“I’m well. How was your week on Corulag?”

You smile at him.

“It was everything I could have hoped for. Alexander has been sworn in, and is already beginning to settle into his position. The people adore him, and I see good things in the future of my planet.”

Anakin nods thoughtfully.

“Obi-Wan extends his apologies at not being able to meet your transport- he’s with the council right now, but he should be done shortly.”

You smile tightly at him.

“Of course. I hope he’s aware that he’s under no obligation to wait on me.”

Anakin gives you a confused glance, so you deflect from Obi-Wan.

“How is Padme?”

“She is well,” Anakin says formally, and you giggle.

“Are you two happy?”

You’ve got your suspicions about their relationship, but you don’t want to press him too hard.

“Yes,” he answers confidently, and you can’t help but grin at him. He obviously loves her.

“Good, young Jedi. Give Padme my regards.”

Anakin smiles at you as you reach the door to your quarters.

“Of course, Y/N.”

You hug him and enter your quarters, getting ready to settle in.

It’s only 0900 when you’re finished unpacking, and you sigh in boredom. You won’t have official business for a few days, to give you time to get settled in, but you don’t handle sitting around very well. Still, you’re feeling your sleepless night. It feels like it should be 2100, not 0900.

You sit on the couch in your rooms, looking out toward the city ruefully, and finally let your exhaustion take over.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains smut. Please skip if you are under the legal age in the country/region you reside in.

When you stir from your sleep, you realize that you’re sleeping against someone. You look up sleepily to see Obi-Wan’s amused eyes. You’re wrapped in his robe, and your face heats up. You turn away from him, embarrassed by your earlier insecurity.

You know that he can feel your embarrassment, but he doesn’t call you out on it.

“Morning, my love,” he says, and you tuck your face against his warm chest.

“Good morning, Master Kenobi. What time is it?”

He tenses when you speak to him formally.

“Only 1100. Is everything alright, Y/N?”

You hesitate, but finally shake your head and pull away from him. You stand and walk toward the windows, running your hands through your hair as you look at the city.

“No. I’m sorry.”

Your voice cracks as he wraps his arms around your waist.

“Y/N, please talk to me.”

You’re quiet for a moment, ashamed.

“I spoke with Alexander last night… He asked me to stay on Corulag. He wanted me to- he told me that there was no way you could love me, and that if I stayed on Corulag he could love me the way I need.”

Your voice breaks again, and tears start to fall. You turn in Obi-Wan’s arms, pressing your face against his chest.

“Do you believe him?”

“What?”

“I need to know if you believe I don’t love you,” he says quietly. “I need to know if you don’t want this.”

“I’m afraid,” you confess. “I’m afraid that I’m going to want more from you than you’re willing to give, and you’ll let me go again.”

The words hurt as you say them.

He pulls away from you, taking your face in his hands and pressing a kiss to your lips. You feel his love for you, and you sink into the kiss.

“I love you,” he says when you pull apart. “I want to give you everything, and I will prove it to you every day if I have to.”

“I love you,” you respond. “I’m sorry.”

Obi-Wan smiles mischievously. “I suppose it could be my fault- I should have taught you better control.”

You roll your eyes at him.

“I don’t have to control my emotions! I’m allowed to be insecure- I’m not a Jedi.”

He won’t stop grinning at you.

“You wound me, Y/N. Did you truly forget everything I taught you? What a failure of a master,” he says dramatically. “I should submit myself to the council for discipline.”

You laugh so hard you feel happy tears start to creep at the corners of your eyes.

“It wasn’t so much that I forgot your teaching, but more that I completely and intentionally ignored everything you said.”

He glares playfully at you, and you shriek with laughter as he picks you up and carries you to the bedroom, tossing you on the bed.

He’s on top of you a moment later, kissing your face.

“I love you,” he says as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” you say, relishing your ability to say it to him. You can feel his love through your bond, and you can’t get enough of him.

You kiss him, tangling your fingers in his hair and pulling him down to you. The kiss is feverish, full of years of need and want. This is the first opportunity you’ve both had to be alone like this since you’ve been awake from your trance.

“I missed you,” he says, pulling away to murmur the words at your neck. His hands travel down your sides, and you arch your back up against him.

“I missed you too.”

His lips trail down your throat to nip at your collarbone.

You’re putty in his hands. You’ve wanted this for so long, it feels like a dream.

“I assure you this is very real,” he murmurs against the curvature of your breasts, and your face heats up. You’re still getting used to the bond.

 _I need you_ , you think experimentally, and arch up against him.

He responds immediately, kissing you roughly as you grab at his robes. You undo his uniform with practiced hands, almost instinctive in your ability to undress him.

He has less luck with your dress, and you giggle, pushing him away long enough to slip yourself out of the garment.

The feel of his bare body against yours is heaven. You can’t get enough of him- you want to take it slow and explore the planes of his body, but you can’t bring yourself to. You need him urgently, and you rock your hips against his.

He groans against your throat, one hand reaching between your legs. You cry out, pulling his hair a little as he gives your swollen clit attention.

“Master,” you whimper, and your eyes snap open as you realize what you just said.

“I’m sorry-,”

He cuts you off with a kiss, and you grin against it. He moves his lips to your ear, nipping at your neck.

“Don’t apologize,” he growls, and the command goes straight to your cunt. You grind your hips up against his hand, urgent.

“Master, please,” you beg, testing the word again, and he indulges you.

You arch up to meet him as he replaces his fingers with his cock, filling you with one smooth thrust.

He groans against your throat, hips snapping urgently. You grab at him, needing more.

“Faster,” you whimper, and he obliges, pounding into you. You throw your head back, and he takes advantage of your exposed throat.

He bites your neck gently, licking at the sensitive skin. You arch your back, pulling his lips to yours.

It’s urgent and passionate, and you feel as if you’re in a world of your own. He’s the only thing that matters- his body against yours, sweating and writhing.

You roll your hips up to meet his thrusts, and you can feel an orgasm building.

“Don’t stop,” you beg. “Please, Master.”

Your words dissolve into urgent, nonsensical cries, and when you come the world blacks out for a moment. Obi-Wan follows only moments after, collapsing on the bed next to you and panting.

You stare up at the ceiling as you try to catch your breath.

“I love you,” Obi-Wan says, and you roll so you can drape yourself across him.

“I love you,” you say, laying your head on his bare chest.

He chuckles at you, the laugh rumbling in his chest, and you snuggle close, sleepy. You rest your head on his chest, and he holds you close.

It’s peaceful, and you start to fall asleep as he draws simple patterns on your bare back with his fingertips.

You try to keep your eyes open, but you’re failing.

“Go to sleep, my love,” he says.

You shake your head.

“No. I don’t want this to be a dream,” you say softly.

He leans down to kiss your head.

“I promise you this isn’t a dream, Y/N. I’m here and I will still be here when you wake up. I can feel your exhaustion.

You look up at him with heavy eyelids.

“I didn’t sleep last night. Do you promise you’ll be here when I wake up?”

“I promise, my Y/N. Sleep.”

You can feel the force suggestion in his words, but you don’t fight it. You rest your head against his chest and let yourself fall into a calm, deep sleep.


	12. Chapter Twelve

When you wake up, the sun is low in the sky. You’re surprised by how long you slept, and your head hurts from the extended nap. You groggily realize that Obi-Wan is no longer in bed with you, and frown. You can’t really be mad- he’s a Jedi Master, and you said yourself that he shouldn’t be neglecting his duties. Still, you wish he would have stayed.

You stand, stretching and looking out at the Coruscant evening. Sleep is still clouding your head, and you yawn.

You jump when two arms wrap around your waist- Obi-Wan. He presses a kiss to your neck, and you turn around to kiss him on the lips. You’re surprised to see that he’s damp from a shower.

You feel a little guilty at thinking that he left- he was here, just showering.

He seems to have picked up on your sleepy emotions, and grins mischievously at you.

“Don’t be mad at me, my love. I was afraid I would start to smell.”

You roll your eyes.

“I’m half asleep, not angry. Though I do wish you’d have waited for me to join you in the shower…”

He grins at you.

“I’m sure it couldn’t hurt for me to pop back in.”

He joins you in the shower, and you stay tangled together until the spray turns cold and your fingers wrinkle.

You put pajamas on when you’re dry, tugging a shirtless Obi-Wan down onto the bed with you.

“I don’t suppose you can stay tonight?” you ask, hopefully. You know you’re being a little needy, but you don’t care. You aren’t ready for him to leave.

“Yes,” he says, kissing you. “I’ll have to leave early in the morning for Council sessions, but if that’s okay then I’d be happy to stay.”

You grin happily.

“I have to be up for Senate committee meetings in the morning so that works perfectly. Your council is supposed to be sending over information to use for the trials- I’m joining in on the prosecution committee.”

Obi-Wan nods thoughtfully.

“Is it really a good idea for you to work on the investigation? I worry for you.”

You smile good-naturedly.

“I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t get involved. They both deserve to be punished to the full extent of the law- I’m happy to help.”

“I just worry that you will have difficulty handling Emmett’s betrayal,” he says seriously, and you wince.

“It’s not just about me, Obi-Wan. It’s about Emmett’s war crimes. He’s connected to Palpatine, and he needs to stand for that. His attempted assassination of me is only a small part of the whole picture.”

Obi-Wan looks like he wants to argue, but knows you well enough not to argue. Instead, he tickles you gently, and you shriek with laughter. You push him away, rolling off the bed and taking a combat stance like you’re ready to fight him.

You’re in pajamas and your hair is still damp, so you can only imagine how intimidating and terrifying you must be.

The laughter in Obi-Wan’s eyes as he sits up on the edge of the bed gives you a hint, so you try to school your features into an angry look. It obviously doesn’t work, and he uses the force to tug you to him. You resist playfully, but you can’t deny him. You’re happy to have him here, in your bed holding you.

“I love you,” he reminds you, and you smile at the truth of it.

“I’ll never get tired of hearing that,” you inform him, running a hand through his hair.

“I’ll never tire of saying it,” he responds.

“We should eat.”

He laughs, tilting his face back.

“What?” you ask defensively.

“Only you could have such a thought in a romantic moment,” he teases, and you frown at him.

You don’t know if you want to argue or accept the teasing, so you settle for glaring at him. When he realizes you aren’t laughing he frowns.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I-,”

You cut him off with a kiss, accidentally knocking your teeth together as you both laugh.

He tickles your sides again.

“That was a mean trick.”

“You made fun of me! Now can we please get food? I’ve been sleeping all day and haven’t eaten since I last night.”

He obliges, letting you stay in bed while he orders food. Neither of you feel like leaving- whatever is happening between the two of you is still so new that you want to spend as much time together as possible before the real world comes knocking.

You eat together on the couch when the food arrives, wrapped up in a blanket and watching some holo-drama neither of you have ever seen. You use it as background noise as you share kisses between bites and talk.

“Do you remember when I got my first cloak?” you ask, taking a bite.

Obi-Wan snorts, and you take that as a yes.

“I watched you fall over so many times that day. I have no idea why they didn’t give you one that was a little more height appropriate, but I enjoyed the outcome.

“I always thought you had them do it,” you confess. “So you could watch me fall on my face.”

Obi-Wan laughs again, this time a barking one that goes straight to your heart.

“There were very few times that I intentionally made things difficult for you, Y/N,” he says, but you know he’s lying.

“I can count like, eight off the top of my head.”

“No way! Not that many.”

“You were my master for 4 years,” you remind him. “That’s a long time for you to mess with me.”

He’s grinning, and you both talk about all your time together. Even before he was your master, you knew him well around the temple. It’s odd to be talking about these memories- you kept them to yourself to avoid the pain for so long. You never thought you would be able to look back on them fondly, especially with Obi-Wan.

You’re both tempted to stay up late and talk, but you’re still tired from travel and you both have to be awake early.

It’s not that bad, though, when you get to crawl into bed beside Obi-Wan.

Sure, there were times when you were a Padawan that you would sleep in the same room, or same tent, or same bed in rare cases. At those times, though, it was always about the mission. You wouldn’t even let yourself fantasize about what could happen for fear that it might jeopardize the mission.

Now, you’ve got him next to you, bare chest warm against your back. It honestly does feel like a dream.

You giggle a little when he pulls you closer, his hand slipping underneath your shirt to rest on your stomach.

You smile to yourself, content. Sleep finds you both quickly, entwined together in the force.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

The next few days are a blur of red tape and frustration, and you see very little of Obi-Wan aside from sleeping. He’s working with the Jedi council to sift through what intelligence they have. The council is also working on recovering from the devastation of war within their ranks. New Padawans need masters, and new masters need Padawans. It’s a confusing process, and rules are being amended and put into place to reflect peacetime.

There are a lot of young Knights- many of them were Knighted under special wartime circumstances, so the number of Knights who actually underwent the trials is low. The council is working on making sure that despite their trials by fire, this generation of Knights is qualified to teach Padawans in peacetime.

You are working on the Senate Special Judiciary Committee, as well as the Senate Intelligence Committee. You’re focused on organizing all the information available about Palpatine and Emmett, compiling it with special prosecutors in preparation for the Senate hearing.

Padme is also a member of the Judiciary Committee, and you take comfort in your ability to see her often. There are constant meetings, and you’ve already made a few speeches to the Senate about restoring trade negotiations from the war.

Your planet is the end of the Perlemian Trade Route, and took an economic downturn at the beginning of the war, as trade with Separatist systems halted. You’ve recovered now, and you’re worried about what will happen if you reinstate trade with Separatists. An influx of trade could either be good for the economy, or drive up inflation and drop prices, creating another recession.

Mon Mothma has been elected Chancellor, and you don’t envy her position. You’re working to simultaneously look to her for guidance and not completely run her ragged.

You’re halfway through a marathon work session with other Judiciary Committee members, up to your elbows in testimony and reports, when the Jedi stop by.

You barely hear the door opening, but when you glance up there are Jedi in front of you, and you set your pen down. Obi-Wan and Saesee Tiin stand in front of you. This must not be good news.

“Can we help you, gentlemen? This is a closed session,” you say, glancing at Padme.

“Emmett Krane has given us indication that he is willing to become a witness against Sheev Palpatine- he claims to have information about the nature of Palpatine’s corruption and can assist in the prosecution.”

Padme scoffs, and Meena Tills silences her with a look. Meena is the head of the committee, and she turns to address the Jedi.

“In exchange?”

Obi-Wan looks at you regretfully, and a feeling of dread settles into your stomach.

“He wants you to be the one to speak with him. He refuses to give information to anyone but you.”

You glance at Meena, wanting her input.

“This goes against proper protocol,” she warns, and you nod.

“We could use the information.”

“I agree,” Padme says, looking at you. “It may not be proper protocol, but this entire situation is outside of typical protocol. I see nothing wrong with you gaining the information on behalf of the Senate. Besides, you know him well- you’re better qualified to tell if he’s lying.”

Meena nods thoughtfully, and thinks for a moment.

“I trust she will not be left alone with him?” she asks the Jedi.

You understand her concern- it’s not only for your safety, but to make sure you’re accountable for the information.

“Of course not. She will be escorted by Jedi at all times, and he will remain in our holding cells. There are also Jedi posted in the area- the temple is the most secure place on Coruscant.”

Meena seems pacified, and she nods to you.

“Go then, Senator Y/L/N. I only ask that you report back to this committee, as well as the Chancellor, with any information you receive.”

“Of course, Senator Tills.”

You stand up, smoothing your skirt and gathering your papers before leaving the room with the Jedi.

You’re nervous- this wasn’t exactly how you were expecting this day to go.

You nod in acknowledgement at Obi-Wan as you can feel him try to calm you through the force.

You stay silent as you’re transported to the temple. You aren’t prepared to talk to Emmett, and you haven’t even ever been in the holding cells of the temple. You know they’re on the lower levels, and were designed to hold Sith, so you assume Palpatine must be there as well. You’re nervous about being there as an outsider, but you don’t want your nerves to be obvious.

You know that this won’t be pleasant, but you can’t allow Emmett to have the upper hand. You need to focus on getting this information for your planet and the Senate.

You say quiet as you’re escorted by Obi-Wan through the temple and to the containment chamber.

Emmett looks well, and you aren’t sure why you’re surprised. The Jedi obviously wouldn’t hurt a prisoner. Still, he looks different. He’s dressed in tan prisoner garb, and his hair is longer. He’s got dark circles under his eyes, and you have to squash a feeling of pity. He tried to kill you.

“Ah! My Y/N,” he greets, and you keep your face composed. “I see you’ve recovered from your injuries.”

“You mean the blaster injury you gave me.”

“Precisely. You look well! I’ve heard you’re officially a Senator now- I must say I’m surprised. I had imagined you’d become Queen.”

“I suppose I wasn’t cut out to carry the crown,” you say smoothly, taking a seat in front of his cell. Obi-Wan stands close behind you.

“Of course not,” he says, waving a hand dismissively. “Few are.”

“Like you?” you question innocently, and watch as Emmett’s eyes flash.

“I did the best I could,” he counters.

“By trying to assassinate a member of your staff and by aligning yourself with a traitor to the Republic?” you ask, unable to keep the humor from creeping into your voice.

“I suppose some mistakes were made.”

You chuckle.

“What information can you give me, my old friend?”

He sighs. “Always straight to business with you. I wonder if you’re so stoic with your Jedi.”

You quirk an eyebrow but don’t respond, deciding to wait for him to tell you something.

He sighs again.

“I will tell you things as they occur to me.”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. He’s obviously trying to play games.

“And what occurs to you now? I must assume there is something you want to start with, since these Jedi interrupted my day of work.”

He grins.

“Many things occurred to me today, Y/N.”

You decide to shift strategy, and ask more direct questions.

“Let’s start from the beginning. Did you approach Palpatine, or did he approach you about an alliance?”

He begins to pace slowly, his hands behind his back.

“He approached me. I was considering the Separatists, and he approached me after the attempt was made on Senator Amidala’s life.”

You nod.

“What exactly was your agreement?”

“I was to be an ally for him in the Senate- vote in ways that would make the Senate vulnerable.”

“Why appoint me to the Senate, then?”

“I trusted you,” he says with a shrug. “And, more importantly, you trusted me. If I could spin things in just the right way, you trusted my judgement and you’d vote the way I told you.”

The betrayal stings again, and you make sure your face is impassive.

“Tell me more, Emmett.”

“Not until you tell me something.”

You raise your eyebrows at him.

“Okay. What?”

“Do you love me?”

You snort.

“Pardon?”

“Do you love me, Y/N? In all the years we spent together- all the evenings with me, spilling your heart and secrets out-,”

“That’s enough, Emmett,” you interrupt.

“Answer the question,” he says, anger creeping into his voice.

“Why?”

“Answer it.”

“Fine. I loved you deeply; I trusted you with my life.”

He nods, and he seems satisfied.

“This interrogation isn’t about me,” you remind him calmly.

“How so? It must be at least a little bit about you. I did, after all, refuse to speak with anyone but you.”

“You chose to speak with me because you think you can manipulate me emotionally,” you observe. “You feel that you can use my past with you against me.”

He grins.

“You’ve always been a quick study, my love.”

“Tell me about the corruption in the Senate,” you say, trying to return to the task at hand. You can  _feel_  how uncomfortable Obi-Wan is, and you try to soothe him.

“Corruption is an old song, and it is loudest on Coruscant,” Emmett says cryptically.

“What does that mean?”

“I am not the only member of the Senate who had a discreet alliance with the Chancellor.”

“Are there members of the Senate who have no yet revealed themselves as Separatists?” you ask, the implications suddenly weighing heavily on your mind. This could be disastrous if there are still Sith ties in the main body of the Republic.

Emmett just smiles at you, and it’s unnerving.

“I need names, Emmett.”

He shakes his head.

“Not yet. I have to prolong this for some time, Y/N. To ensure my own safety.”

“Pardon?”

“I have to keep some secrets. If I play my whole hand at once, you’ll most certainly dispatch me.”

You shake your head.

“You know the Senate and the Jedi better than that. No one will hurt you- you will stand trial.”

He turns away from you.

“All the same, I am finished for today. Return tomorrow and we’ll talk further.”

You bristle at his instruction, but stand anyway and follow Obi-Wan from the room. You feel exhausted from your talks with him, and you can’t keep the frown from your face.

If there are still traitors in the Senate who haven’t been exposed, the trials could backfire. Enough corrupt votes could mean a release of the two prisoners, and your heart pounds at the though.

Obi-Wan places his hand on your back as he escorts you from the building and into a transporter, but you can’t bring yourself to say anything to him. You’re focused on quelling the panic rising in you.

The transport brings you back to the Senate, and you are only mildly surprised when Obi-Wan follows you closely, his hand still on your back.

“You’re being obvious,” you observe as you walk together into the building.

“I know,” he says, and you frown.

“Should you be toning it down, then? I don’t want this jeopardize your status within the Order-,”

“Hush. I will deal with the Order, my love. At the risk of sounding like an old man, I  _am_ a master and a council member. Few have rank to question my actions, and those who do will not.”

“You seem very sure of that,” you say, not pacified. “I’m surprised by your arrogance, Master Kenobi.”

He doesn’t visibly react, but you can feel him bristle.

“I’m only saying that I don’t want you to be adversely affected because of me. I left the Order because of attachments- the whole business makes me nervous,” you confess.

Obi-Wan smiles gently at you.

“Please don’t fear, Y/N. I will meet with Master Yoda this evening.”

You nod, as you come in front of the Chancellor’s office.

“Go now,” you suggest. “I will be with Chancellor Mothma for a few hours at least; we have much to discuss.”

Obi-Wan nods, and bends down to kiss your forehead. It’s a sweet gesture, and you walk into Chancellor Mothma’s office with a smile on your face.

It leaves shortly after, unfortunately, as you speak with Mon Mothma about the implications of corruption still being present in the Senate.

“We must postpone the hearings,” you say, pacing.

“The Senate will need a reason,” she counters.

“We can’t tell the Senate,” you argue. “If we let them know we’re suspicious of corruption, it might spark a panic. Those still loyal to the Separatists might vote to overturn the delay, and we’ll be left without credibility to Loyalists.”

“Still,” she counters. “I cannot just issue an order to halt the proceedings. I haven’t been Chancellor long enough to stand up to that kind of scrutiny.”

“We can tell them that Emmett is being uncooperative,” you suggest. “That we need to build out case further, and that we must extract information.”

“The members of the Judiciary Committee won’t abide it. They know exactly what information we have- they’ll argue that we have more than enough information to try him.”

“What about the Jedi?” you suggest. “We could speak with their council. Persuade them to issue an order that the prisoners must remain with them for some duration.”

She shakes her head. “They won’t agree to it- they aren’t an arm of the Senate. They won’t want to interfere in our business, especially if it means lying to the public.”

“They might,” you argue. “They are already involved by keeping the prisoner. Plus, they should understand the severity of this situation. This whole plot runs deep within the Jedi as well- their arrogance will not save them from the fact that Dooku and Palpatine were both Sith and existed underneath the Jedi’s noses.”

Mon Mothma looks out the window for a long moment, before turning to you and nodding.

“We will head there immediately.”

She calls for a droid, sending word to the Council of your imminent arrival. She also calls for a Senate guard to escort you both.

You can’t help your nerves, but you take comfort in her presence. She’s a wise woman, and you’ve always looked up to her.

“You are familiar with the council members, correct?”

“Yes. I trained as a Jedi, and I consider many of them friends,” you say, as you walk with her up the massive steps of the Temple ziggurat.

“That could help or harm us,” she says, and you smile ruefully.

“I don’t suppose that means you want me to wait outside while you handle it?”

She merely laughs, and you walk together through the open doors into the round chamber of the High Council.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

“You mean to tell us that you want to use the Jedi to deflect from the supposed corruption of your own Senate?” Mace asks, not pulling punches.

You resist the urge to sigh.

“In short, yes,” Mon Mothma says, her voice calm. “This is a tense difficult situation. We need to postpone the trial proceedings without sparking a panic among Senators who might still have Separatist leanings. We can’t let them know that we’re still investigating them, or it might come to a mistrial.”

“Why can you and Senator Y/L/N not simply issue a postponement?” Ki-Adi Mundi asks.

“Simply, our reputations won’t stand to it,” you say. “Scrutiny will come from both sides if we deliver a postponement without good reason- those loyal to the Separatists will assume we know more than we do, and many of those loyal to the Republic are still out for blood. Many are eager to get the trials started. Plus, we cannot issue a full stop without agreeance from the entire Senate. It could still get overturned by a vote, and we would lose our ability to gain information.”

You release your nerves to the force- you can feel the dissent in the room, and it doesn’t bode well for you.

“A tool of the Senate, the Jedi are not,” Yoda observes, and you nod.

“We are well aware of that, Master Yoda. However, you cannot be so arrogant as to not see the implications of this. Count Dooku and Sheev Palpatine were both Sith who grew powerful under the very noses of not just the Senate, but  _also_  this council. The Senate is not the only institution that has failed the people of this Galaxy.”

There is immediate dissent from the room, but you keep your chin up unflinchingly. Mace stands abruptly, and you can feel his anger creeping into the room.

You don’t speak, just lock eyes with him. You remind yourself that you are no longer a young Padawan.

“I mean no disrespect, Master Windu. I merely mean to say that this is a situation that will affect the Jedi, whether we all like it or not.”

He sits back down, and you keep your shoulders square. You have yet to look at Obi-Wan, and when you glance at him his jaw is set in anger. He’s mad at you.

You push the thought from your head. Your loyalty lies with the Senate first.

“And if we don’t grant to this request?” Mace asks.

“My letter of resignation is signed and waiting. The Senate will be left to its own devices.”

Mace doesn’t look as if he’s about to call your bluff, and the tension in the air is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“Deliberate, we will. Wait outside, you should,” Yoda asks, his face troubled and his hands folded across his lap.

You and Mon Mothma bow slightly, moving from the room with sweeping skirts.

“Will you really resign?” she asks, quietly, as you both sit on comfortable benches. You nod sharply.

“If I don’t the Senate will call for my removal. Many are already distrustful of me because of my connections to Emmett- if this all fails, I will take the blame. They’ll all think I protected him.”

She knows it’s true, and the weight of the situation rests on your shoulders as you wait. Your anxiety is too great to allow for meditation, so you sit still and quiet instead.

You doubt the Jedi will agree, and you calm yourself with the idea that Alexander will no doubt allow you to have a new position on Corulag. It will get in the way of your relationship with Obi-Wan, but surely it’s doomed to fail no matter what- he’d pick the Order over you in a heartbeat.

You haven’t actually written your resignation yet- it was a bluff, but one that is easily remedied. You begin to think of what you would say, drafting the letter in your own mind.

You hope it will sound as elegant as you imagine it.

You wonder what will happen with Emmett- the Judiciary Committee has enough information to convict him, but if the Senate is actually corrupt he could get off easy.

You might be assassinated.

The thought is sobering, but you’re not disturbed. You’ve resigned yourself to your failure- you have all been continually played by the Sith, and this is how things must go.

It occurs to you that Obi-Wan was planning on discussing your relationship with Master Yoda this evening, and you wonder if he had the chance. If he did, it might influence his vote. It might also influence the respect the other council members have for him.

The sun sets outside the temple as you wait, and you are barely preventing your exhaustion from taking over when you’re called back into the council room.

You both square your shoulders, trying to keep your face passive as you meet Master Yoda’s eyes. He glances between the two of you, and you try not to let your heartbeat quicken. It sounds all too loud in your ears.

“Order the Senate to allow us time with the prisoners, we will. Vote against us, they may,” he cautions. “Still, participate in this scheme, the Jedi will.”

“Thank you, Council,” Mon Mothma says as you both bow.

You stride from the room, with the promise that the formal request will arrive tomorrow morning, in time for the Chancellor to call a special session. That will take a few days to materialize, and will give you a few more days to extract information at the very least. You hope the vote will pass- you’ll speak to the Judiciary and Intelligence Committees about it, and you’re already compiling a list of things to do as you board the transport back to the Senate.

“You must sleep tonight, Y/N,” the Chancellor cautions.

“I don’t think I will be able to,” you confess. “The Jedi agreeing is only the first piece to this puzzle- if the Senate votes against them I will still have to resign.”

The Chancellor nods.

“This could have disastrous effects on the Senate’s relationship with the Jedi. However, the Senate respects them and I doubt many will vote against them.”

You shake your head.

“Don’t curse us, Chancellor. Arrogance is not the way in this situation.”

She smiles ruefully at you as you come to a landing.

“I’m afraid it is not arrogance- more, determined optimism. I cannot allow myself to entertain the possibility that this might all fail on us anyway.”

You nod, understanding her point.

“These are trying times, Chancellor. I thought winning the war was difficult- diplomacy is much, much harder.”

She laughs, and bids you goodbye.

“Sleep well, Senator. Spend the day tomorrow with Emmett- if we can get information from him soon, the vote may not be necessary.”

You nod sharply.

“Of course, Chancellor. Sleep well.”

You can barely hold back a yawn as you head toward the transport that will take you to your apartment.

“Y/N?”

You turn to see Padme striding toward you with Anakin.

“Good evening, Padme, Anakin.”

You hug them both, and you all walk to the transport together.

“You’re working late,” you observe, and she laughs.

“I only came back to grab some papers. Are you just now leaving?”

You nod.

“I spoke with Emmet for much of the day, and then I presented my findings to Chancellor Mothma. We spoke with the Jedi, and I’m just now leaving.”

“Spoke with the Jedi about what?” Anakin asks, as you all take a seat on the transport. You’re not surprised that he’s travelling with Padme- you are sure that they’re in the same position you and Obi-Wan are in.

“Emmett gave me information that alluded to the possibility of corruption remaining in the Senate. We’re working to postpone the trials, at least until we can make sure that the voting is honest.”

Anakin and Padme seem troubled, and you are tired of feeling stress, so you decide to distract the three of you.

“So, how long have you been together?”

Anakin balks, stuttering to figure out an answer.

Padme just grins at you- the transport is empty save for the pilot, who is enclosed in his own room. Besides, pilots are on Senate payroll and are compensated handsomely for not discussing private matters.

“Since the start of the war, officially.”

You grin back at her.

“Good. It’s good to see you both happy- you deserve it.”

You hug her, and lean over to look at Anakin.

“Is your brain malfunctioning, Jedi?” you ask, teasingly.

He shakes his head and finally smiles.

“You’re too observant for your own good, Y/N. I’m pretty observant myself, though. How’s Obi-Wan?”

You don’t bite immediately.

“I’m not sure- last I saw, he was well.”

“Last you saw… like last night, when he slept in your chambers?”

Padme gasps.

“What? You didn’t tell me!”

You laugh.

“I’m not saying anything to incriminate myself… and you never told  _me_!” you retort, laughing.

The transport lands soon after, and you say goodbye to Padme and Anakin before you make your way to your quarters. You step out of your shoes immediately, simultaneously freeing your hair from its style and allowing it to fall around your shoulders. When you look up, you’re unsurprised to find Obi-Wan waiting for you with crossed arms.

“Evening, my love,” you greet casually, turning around to silently offer the zipper of your dress to him.

He unzips it for you, but you can tell by his silence and stoic presence that he’s angry still.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, as you walk into your bedroom, sliding the dress of and tossing it into the laundry hamper for the droids to collect. Putting pajamas on feels like heaven, and you sit on the edge of the bed.

Obi-Wan still hasn’t spoken, and he stands in the doorway silently.

When you try to catch his eyes, he won’t make eye contact with you. Panic starts to well in your chest- this is obviously about more than just what happened in the Council meeting today. He must have spoken to Yoda and been ordered to stop seeing you. Tears well up in your eyes as you fold your hands nervously.

“Obi-Wan, please speak to me. What is going on?”

His eyes snap to yours when your voice breaks, and the anger melts from his face.

“Don’t cry, my Y/N,’ he says quietly, sitting next to you and pulling you into his arms.

“Master Yoda told you to stop seeing me, didn’t he?” you cry, letting your stress from the day pour out with your tears. “I knew he would. I knew this would happen and I’d lose you again.”

You let out a choked sob, and Obi-Wan rubs a soothing hand across your back.

“Hush. Master Yoda said no such thing, my love. I am not leaving you. I’m sorry I made you think so.”

You hiccup a sob, letting your tears wet his robes.

“You’re mad at me, though,” you observe. “I can feel it in the force.”

He runs a hand through your hair as you continue to cry.

“I’m frustrated with you, and worried for you. Not angry,” he corrects. “Anger is not the way of a Jedi.”

You let out another shaky sob.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize, assuming he’s talking about the way you spoke to Master Windu.

“You don’t have to be sorry. Just please stop getting yourself into positions that make me worry for your safety,” he says, exasperated.

“What?” you sniffle, confused.

“You’re in a delicate position, Y/N. You’re constantly painting targets on your back in the Senate, and I worry for your safety.”

“Obi-Wan, I’m fully aware of the risks I take. It’s in the name of diplomacy. I owe it to my people to ensure that the government designed to take care of them is doing its job. Risks are part of it. Besides, your job is riskier than mine,” you sniffle, and he sighs.

Your tears have stopped, but you’re still emotionally exhausted. He rubs your back again, and you hug him.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” he says, kissing the top of your head. “Are you okay now? I’m sorry I worried you.”

You nod.

“I’m sorry I overreacted. It’s just been a long, emotional day and I was worried that you would be mad at me for insulting the Jedi in the council chamber.”

He tilts his head back and laughs, and his chest rumbles as his shoulders shake.

“The look on Mace Windu’s face was worth your insolence, my love.”

You grin against his chest.

“Good. Did you speak to Master Yoda?”

He nods against your hair, and you pull away to look at him expectantly.

“He cautioned me against attachment, but understands that we are both still dedicated to our respective duties. I do suppose you proved that by not pulling your punches in the Council chamber,” he teases.

You laugh, leaning up to kiss his cheek. He turns, catching your lips, and you sink into the kiss.

“I love you,” you say when you pull away. “I love that I’m allowed to love you, after all this time.”

Obi-Wan grins and kisses you once more before you stand up and stretch.

“I’m going to order food. Did you want anything? Oh, and Anakin and Padme are dating,” you blurt.

“What?”

“I’m going to order food. Do you want any?” you repeat.

He glares good-naturedly.

“You know very well that’s not the part I was questioning.”

You grin and turn to face him. He is still seated on the bed, and when you stand in front of him you’re taller.

“I saw them on the transport today and asked about it. They’ve always been close and it was obvious.”

“How…? It was  _not_  obvious!”

You laugh, leaning down to press a kiss to his nose.

“It was, you dense old man.”

“I am not old!”

“It’s okay, honey. I love you anyway.”

“I am  _not_  old! And it wasn’t obvious that Anakin was in a relationship with the Senator of Naboo!”

You shake your head.

“Denial is not the Jedi way, my love. By the way, they both know we’re together.”

“What? Stop dropping this information so casually!” he protests, and you can’t help but grin at how easily it is to make him indignant.

“I’m ordering Corellian food,” you say casually, and watch as he opens his mouth to complain further and catches himself.

“Fine,” he says, obviously pouting.

You put the order in and plant yourself on the couch, frowning at the door to your bedroom when Obi-Wan doesn’t come to join you.

“Master,” you whine, and he appears in the doorway with one eyebrow quirked.

“Yes, my love?” he asks, finally sitting next to you.

You lean up and kiss him on the lips, before you move to whisper mischievously in his ear.

“We’ve got 20 minutes before the food arrives.”


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all! I've been having huge trouble getting chapters posted from my parents' house, because my laptop doesn't agree with their wifi. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Things escalate quickly from here.

You sleep restlessly through the night, unprepared to face Emmett in the morning. You know that he’s going to try and manipulate you, and it’s vital that you get this information.

You wake much earlier than you need to, lying in bed and worrying. You look at Obi-Wan asleep next to you to distract yourself. His eyes are closed, and his face is relaxed. His hair is a mess, and it hangs in his face. His beard is getting unkempt, and you have the urge to touch it but you resist for fear of waking him. You can feel how content he is, and it brings a small smile to your face. You never expected all of this.

When you left the Order, you had resigned yourself to never seeing him again. Now, ten years and a war later, he’s sleeping beside you. It all feels like a dream.  

As if he senses your attention, he opens his eyes sleepily and smiles at you.

“Good morning,” he says, whispering as dawn begins to cast a gray light across the room.

“I hope I didn’t wake you,” you whisper again

He shakes his head and stretches.

“Of course not. Though I must ask why you’re awake so early.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

He stretches and rolls onto his back, tugging you close so you’re resting in the crook of his arm, your head on his shoulder.

“Oh? Why not?”

“I’m nervous,” you confess. “I’m worried about speaking with Emmett.”

“I’ll be there with you,” Obi-Wan says, and you raise your eyebrows in surprise.

“Don’t you have Jedi things to be doing?”

He shrugs.

“Someone has to be with you when you’re there. I volunteered and Master Yoda allowed it.”

You give him a cross look and reach over to tug on his beard petulantly.

“What?” he asks, defensively.

“You better not be forgoing other duties on my behalf. You’re a talented Jedi, Obi-Wan; I can’t imagine there is not a better use of your talents.”

“I can’t imagine any better use of my  _talents_ ,” he says, lewdly, rolling over so he’s on top of you and you’re trapped between his arms.

“I’m serious!” you shriek. “Let me be serious!”

He doesn’t and you both end up running late. He seemed to forget that he didn’t have a change of clothes- you watched him slip out and back to the temple to change while you rushed to look presentable. Then he made his way back to escort you to the temple he just left from.

“That was a good use of taxpayer funds,” you say sarcastically as you make your way into the temple from the transport. “I suppose the transports are there for a reason, though not intended to funnel you back and forth from your illicit affairs.

He scoffs.

“It’s hardly illicit, my love. We don’t have to hide it.”

You narrow your eyes at him.

“Says you. Just because Yoda didn’t beat you with his cane doesn’t mean we should plaster our relationship across the entire galaxy.”

Obi-Wan shrugs, but doesn’t seem dissuaded.

“So, you would prefer I don’t scream our love from the roof of the temple?”

You don’t even dignify it with a response as you enter the holding cells at the base of the temple

A chair is waiting in front of Emmett’s cell, and he’s standing at the energy wall that holds him in, waiting for you.

“Good morning, Y/N,” he says, and you nod to him in response.

“I don’t suppose any names have come to your memory when you slept?” you ask, not wasting time.

When he laughs, obviously playing games, you stand abruptly. You keep your chin up and back straight as you begin to leave.

“Y/N?” Emmett calls.

You round on him before you walk out the door, addressing him strictly.

“I am not here to play games, Emmett. We have enough condemning information to have you and Palpatine executed. I owe you nothing, and I will not be used for your amusement. Do you have information or not?”

You can see him toying with calling you bluff, but he doesn’t.

“Fine. Sit back down, Y/N.”

You eye him down in satisfaction as you take your seat again.

“You’ve become such a strong woman, Y/N. Nothing like the frightened Padawan girl I saved on Coruscant all those years ago. You were so much weaker then…”

You stay silent as you wait for him to say something useful, keeping your face a passive mask. You refuse to react to the memory he’s referencing.

“Fine, fine,” he relents. “We will reminisce later. Satine Kryze.”

You can feel Obi-Wan’s horror, and he steps forward, his hand drifting to his lightsaber.

“What?” You prompt him, turning toward him in alarm.

He collects himself immediately but refuses to look at you or explain. You frown, but turn back to the task at hand.

“What evidence have you? You’re a traitor to the Republic and your own people. Your word alone is not enough.”

“My office in the palace contains the proof. There is a locked safe- the combination is the date we met and a handprint- yours and mine both work.”

Obi-Wan’s hand tightens on his saber, and you wonder what’s gotten into him. Jealousy is not the way of the Jedi.

“Fine. We’ll see,” you say, standing. “That will be all for today.”

You stride toward the door with Obi-Wan on your heels, already formulating plans. You’ll need to speak with the Chancellor, then leave for Corulag. You’ll send word to Alexander and head there immediately- maybe Anakin or Obi-Wan could escort you. You aren’t sure that there will be a trap, but it’s a very real possibility. You start to pace on the transport to the Senate.

“This is ridiculous, Y/N,” Obi-Wan blurts and you turn to him.

“Pardon?”

“This is a fool’s errand. The safe will probably be empty. I know Satine very well- there’s no way she’s a traitor. She’s a pacifist, not a Separatist!”

You raise your eyebrows at him.

“Oh? You know her well- that must be why you got so tense in the interrogation. Don’t think that I missed you grabbing for your lightsaber. How intimately do you know her, exactly?”

He looks outraged.

“How dare you? Satine is an old friend- Qui-Gon and I visited her planet when I was a Padawan. I saw her again during the war and that is the  _extent_  of our relationship.”

He’s stretching the truth and you know it, but you don’t have time to argue with him. Instead, you seethe quietly as you stride off the transport and into the Senate building, finding the Chancellor’s office quickly.

You request permission from her to go to your home planet immediately, and she calls the Jedi, who assign Obi-Wan to your guard. You’re boiling with anger at him, but it would be unprofessional to protest him specifically. Instead, you argue against any protection at all.

“Y/N, we have no idea what awaits you. You will accept protection.”

“With all due respect, Chancellor, Corulag is my home. I am safer there than anywhere in the galaxy- this is a waste of Jedi resources.”

“We insist,” the hologram of Mace says, and you resist glaring at him.

“Fine.”

You’re furious as you make your way to your apartment alone- Obi-Wan has gone to retrieve the things he needs to accompany you.

You call Alexander as you pack, slamming things viciously into your suitcase.

“Y/N! How wonderful to hear from you. How are things in the Senate?”

You explain the situation to him, informing him that you’re leaving momentarily. Alexander’s voice is subduing your anger slightly.

“There’s more,” he still notices. “There’s something you aren’t telling me.”

You sigh, hesitant to tell him you’re angry with Obi-Wan. You worry that he’ll tell you he told you so.

“Obi-Wan and Duchess Satine apparently have history. He told me their relationship was platonic, but I could tell that he was lying. If it comes down to it, I question his ability to apprehend her.”

“That’s not all,” Alex observes. “You’re jealous.”

You slam the lid of your suitcase shut.

“I don’t get jealous.”

He laughs, and you frown at his hologram.

“Don’t laugh at me, your highness.”

“I don’t take orders from you anymore, Y/N,” he reminds you.

“That might be true, but still. Stop laughing at me.”

“I will stop laughing at you when you stop being in denial. You are jealous at the thought that your dear Jedi might have loved another and not told you.”

“I’m not jealous!”

“He’s travelling with you, right?” Alexander asks, and you nod.

“Unfortunately.”

“Ah, well. I’ll see you when you arrive. Perhaps I should invite the Duchess to visit?”

“Alexander!” you start to protest, but he hangs up before you can protest.

You throw the commlink against the wall, shattering it to pieces.

“Rough day?”

You turn to see Obi-Wan entering, but your sense of humor is nowhere to be found. You reach for your bag, but he takes it from you. When his hand brushes yours, you jerk away as if he’s burned you. You can feel his hurt from your actions, but you’re still angry.

You walk to the ship silently, stewing in anger and exhaustion. If Alexander really did call the Duchess, you’ll have to be diplomatic and polite to the cursed woman.

You grit your teeth. It figures your friend would try to mess with you in such a way- you wonder if this is his way to punish you for rejecting him.

You don’t speak to Obi-Wan during the journey, preferring to catch up on work from the Senate. You begin your report of the Emmett situation, typing out what should be used in the trials.

You don’t finish by the time you land on Corulag, but the busy work has lifted some of your stress.

Alexander is waiting for you on the platform, and you greet him warmly. It’s been too long since you’ve seen his face.

You’re impressed once again by just how well he’s adapted to being royalty- he holds himself like a king, and his mannerisms are refined. Your heart swells with pride as he smiles at you.

“Welcome home, Senator.”

He turns to shake Obi-Wan’s hand, and you’re surprised by his friendliness.

You don’t question it though, and follow your friend into the palace.

“His study is still untouched,” he confesses. “I prefer to work in the judiciary building, and I have yet to go through his things. I was also loathe to have a servant do it- there could be sensitive information and I would hate to see it end up on the holonet or black market.”

You nod.

“Good. He said that the information should be in a safe- I don’t suppose you’re familiar with it?”

“No,” he says, shaking his head.

He gives you a sideways look after a moment.

“Are you not familiar with his office?”

You shake your head.

“Emmett was a very private man- he typically came to my office when he needed me in the palace, or we would be in the judiciary building together,” you say.

“Did that ever strike you as odd?”

“No. Did it ever strike you as odd?”

“Well, no,” Alexander says. “But I wasn’t nearly as close with him as you were. You were his right-hand man.”

“I suppose I was,” you say, letting the topic drop as you both arrive at the study with Obi-Wan. You reach for the door handle, but he stops you.

“Allow me. We don’t know what’s waiting on the other side.”

He opens the door with his hand on his lightsaber, surveying the room for a moment before letting you follow after him.

The room is lavish, with dark wood and leather. It’s warm and it sets you at ease. It reminds you of Emmett, and when you take a deep breath you can still smell his cologne. You run a hand along the smooth wood of his desk. You were so fond of him… It stings to be in such a private place, looking for evidence.

You never thought this would happen, and a lump settles in your throat.

“Are you alright?” Alexander asks gently, touching you on the elbow.

You nod, unable to speak, and turn back to the desk.

There is a picture on it of the both of you, and you pick it up to look at it. You remember the day well. You were just 18 at the time, and barely settling into palace life despite having been there for two years. It was a holiday, and Emmett had held a royal event. He took you as his date, and you dressed in the royal colors of your planet. The photo is beautiful- you’re dancing with Emmett, looking up at him as you glide across the floor.

You can still feel the happiness and laughter, and the pure joy of dancing with him. Emmett taught you to dance that night.

A tear slides down your cheek, and you set the photo down. You can feel Alexander and Obi-Wan looking at you, but you don’t look up. Instead, your eyes are drawn to a latch underneath where the photo sat. When you lift the latch, it reveals the safe you came for.

“It’s here,” you say quietly, pressing your palm to the panel. It asks for a date, and you blink more tears from your eyes as you use your other hand to key in the date you met Emmett and left the Order.

The safe opens.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, y'all! This is a really short chapter because I'm actually rewriting the entire ending I had already written to this story. So, we've got a ways to go before it ends. Thank you so much for your continued support!

_“It’s here,” you say quietly, pressing your palm to the panel. It asks for a date, and you blink more tears from your eyes as you use your other hand to key in the date you met Emmett and left the Order._

_The safe opens._

“Your Highness, Duchess Satine is here for you,” a servant girl says from the doorway, as you stare into the empty safe.

You sit heavily in the chair behind Emmett’s desk, staring unflinchingly at the empty space.

You’ve been had.

You honestly shouldn’t be so surprised; Emmett is a liar and a criminal, and he  _shot you_.

Still, you had believed him like a fool.

You can’t bear to look at Obi-Wan, and your humiliation keeps your eyes downcast even as Alexander speaks.

“Y/N,” he says, commanding but not unkindly. “We shall discuss our next move shortly. You must breathe, though, my dear. We will greet the Duchess.”

You take a shaky breath and stand, taking his offered arm with a shaky hand. You still don’t look at Obi-Wan.

“Alex-,”

“Hush. We will figure this out.”

Your hands shake as you are guided into the grand hallway. The Duchess is waiting, and you’re too numb to be surprised when she greets Obi-Wan instead of either you or Alexander. It’s only a minor social faux-pas, but it still feels like salt in your wounds. The humiliation seems unending, and you want to sink into the floor. 

Obi-Wan kisses her hand, and you feel nauseous.

“I must say, I was surprised to see that you asked for my company, Your Highness,” she says as she turns to greet Alexander.

He smiles calmly and offers her his arm. You walk stiffly behind him, still not looking at Obi-Wan, though you can feel his gaze on you.

“I regret that this is not a pleasure visit, Duchess.”

He pulls her chair out for her, and a servant pulls yours out for you. Your hands shake as you smooth your skirt and sit.

“You  _were_  rather unclear about the reason you requested me,” she points out.

“Very serious allegations have been made against you by our former king,” you say, finally able to compose yourself enough to speak. “We are hesitant to believe them, but we thought it might still be prudent to discuss these allegations with you before involving the Senate or Jedi more deeply.”

“What might these allegations be?” she says, her voice thick with barely concealed disdain.

“Emmett Krane has alleged that you are a traitor in the Senate, still loyal to the Separatists,” Alexander says carefully.

“A traitor?” she says, unleashing the full force of her scorn. “You  _dare_  bring me here to deliver unfounded allegations- based on the word of a scorned king? I am a  _pacifist._ ”

You meet Emmett’s eyes, before looking back at Satine’s angry face. You’re stunned to see Obi-Wan rest a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“We understand your track record with the Senate, Duchess. With all due respect, we wanted to be sure. Your neutrality has made you an easy target for those who want to point fingers.”

“How dare you?” she asks. “You would use my own pacifist against me. You’re a war  _hero_ ; of course the idea that someone could not be involved in your disgusting war is foreign to you. I don’t expect someone like  _you_  to understand such higher-level thinking. Not agreeing with the Senate is  _not_  the same thing as agreeing with Separatists!”

Your jaw aches painfully from the force of your teeth grinding together.

“We meant no disrespect, Duchess. We are only trying to be thorough,” Alexander explains.

Obi-Wan intervenes then.

“Please, don’t misunderstand our intentions as an accusation. We want to protect you,” he says, and she seems thoroughly pacified by that.

The rest of dinner is painful; you force yourself to partake in conversation as your shame hangs around you like a suffocating embrace.

Alexander offers to allow the Duchess to stay, but she thankfully takes her leave shortly after.

You don’t miss how Obi-Wan’s posture changes only slightly with his disappointment.

You are guided toward your quarters by a servant as night falls, and you slip your heels off before heading toward the balcony. It’s the very same one where you’d spoken to Alexander on the night of his first ball as king, and your heart aches.

Alexander had asked you to stay.

_He’s already let you go once- he can do it again._

Your heart aches at the memory of the words. You’re starting to wonder exactly how correct Alexander had been in his prediction about your relationship.

You’re standing on the balcony with bare feet when Alexander enters, and takes his position at your side.

“Well, you’ve sure dug yourself into a hole,” he observes cheekily.

You open your mouth to speak, but hot tears well in your eyes.

“Oh, Y/N,” he sighs, wrapping an arm around you. You turn against his chest, shoulders shaking as you try not to let the tears fall.

“I’m sorry, Alexander,” you say, voice raw with emotion. “You were right.”

“About what?” he asks gently.

“I should have stayed," you say, pulling away to gesture out across the palace grounds and the city in front of you. “I should have stayed here with you. You were right about Obi-Wan, and the Senate. I should have just stayed.”

Your voice breaks at the end, but Alexander shakes his head.

“That’s not true, Y/N.”

“You watched me humiliate myself, Alexander. It’s going to be even worse when I return to Coruscant with  _nothing._  Obi-Wan was right when he called it a fool’s errand. I have been used because of my own naivete. The vote should be taking place soon; Emmett and Palpatine will go on trial with the possibility that the Senate is still corrupt. They could be freed, for all I know! And I don’t even have Obi-Wan,” you say, as your tears finally start to fall.

“Y/N, that’s all worse case scenario and speculation. And Kenobi is here, isn’t he?”

“He was  _ordered_  to be here,” you say. “And how could he miss an opportunity to speak with  _Satine?_  You saw the way he looked at her, Alexander.”

Alexander winces, and you rub a hand across your face.

“I banked so much on there being information in Emmett’s safe. I did exactly what he wanted me to.”

Alexander nods.

“That doesn’t mean all is lost. Go to him once again and try to get as much as you can. The Senate  _will_  convict him, Y/N. Besides, you have no evidence that the Senate is actually corrupt at all. He could have made all of it up.”

“And if he didn’t?”

Alexander shrugs.

“I’m sure we could find a good bounty hunter to take him out.”

You snort despite yourself.

“You would hire a bounty hunter to kill your predecessor? Seems a little scandalous.”

Alexander grins at you again.

“Doesn’t every great king have a scandal? I think I could’ve chosen something worse to be infamous for.”

You know he’s teasing, but the thought still makes you laugh.

“As long as you aren’t attempting to assassinate me,” you allow. “Force knows I’ve had enough attempts on my life to last a lifetime.”

Alexander chuckles.

“Oh, of  _course_. I would  _never_  assassinate you,” he teases, stretching out his words.

“You better not,” you say, wagging a finger at him. “You wouldn’t last ten days without my input.”

He rolls his eyes but concedes.

“Fine. I won’t assassinate you.”

Alexander stands with you on the balcony, talking and speculating, well into the evening. By the time you’re ready for bed you feel much more optimistic about the coming days.

You’ve resolved to get Emmett to admit all he’s lied about- by any means necessary.


End file.
